Paying the high price for being indulgent and a loner

Perhaps, it is a costly lifestyle to be a loner. Most of the restaurants that I go to are those that offer expensive food and services.

I don't like people-packed places. I don't mean to spend dearly either. It's just that I feel healthier when I dine at well-served places.

Checking my wallet, I think it is best to simply build an office at home, adorn it with proper adornment, and design it so I could go well to my liking.

I can also just put up a sign that I am having classes especially if I didn't want to be disturbed.

The problem is I am a bit indulgent. In combination with my laziness, I couldn't set myself to do what I wish to do.

I let time pass without realizing what I need to do to attain my goal.

I go back to being a regular at someplace else.

Seriously, this is impractical and foolish.

Perhaps, I have just branded myself with such adjectives to keep me from painstakingly making wise decisions and practical solutions.

That is indeed indulgent behavior.

As they say, we have to be careful with the words we use to describe ourselves.

I have already paid a great price. It may be worth it somehow, having my head work well when dining In such places.

But then there are a lot of cheaper and more practical options.

I own my house. I have all the freedom in this world to design my workplace in the house.

I have all the freedom to plan how I can remedy these whims.

I can do it with will and determination.

But then...

Old habits die hard.

I can attest to that.

Looking back, I can do better when I gain inspiration from inspiring people.

Ironically, a loner needs a company as well.

Good company. A good influence to be more specific.

So maybe, I am a choosy one instead of a loner. But it's quite hard to categorize so let me stick first to the word loner.

And yes, a loner wanting good company to let her break through bad habits. Bad habits die hard so I need all the help I can get.

I sometimes realize though that we are social creatures after all.

Even after feeling glorious for most of the time that I was alone, there were instances when I would feel awkward being on my own.

Sometimes, I also feel pain when I am alone.

It's still complicated to explain.

Maybe, I will also do some reverse psychology on myself. I will tell myself that I am diplomatic and that I can. Maybe not.

Geez, no matter what I do or say or promise to myself, I still am bonded to the old. Old habits die hard indeed.

I know I will go on with this kind of spending but I will do my best to cut down on my expenses.

As for my self-declared indulgence and being a loner, I know that somehow along the way, I will be able to have a more positive and more reinforcing description of myself than being indulgent and a loner.