Have you ever felt so empty? Have you ever felt like there is no joy in your life? Have you ever felt like you have nothing worthy to achieve? Have you ever wished that you were still in your parents' side?
For some reason, I am very thankful. I recently overcame a crisis in my life. But of course, overcoming that was successful, thanks to the help of family and friends. I am thankful for the following reasons: (a) that I experienced the very traumatizing crisis; (b) that I had my family and friends who helped me overcame the crisis; and (c) that I am still having these realizations...
Right now, I feel so unsure of what I am feeling. I do not know how to describe how I am right now. But the recent experience of crisis made me sigh and thank Him that I am free from it! I should then do whatever I can in order to feel good.
I should recognize that not all days are happy days. But equally, not all days are gloomy days. Some days are bland, some days are angry days, and some days are stressful days. With this recognition, we just have to go on and do the best that we can so that we could be geared more towards positivity and strength.
If we allow ourselves to be overcome by sadness, even depression, we will not be able to see ourselves under a positive light. Sure, we become sad or depressed from time to time, but there should be that perseverance to overcome the situation.
Just a while ago, we went to mass to feed our spiritual longings. Then one of the things that caught my memory was the sharing of the priest that how good it is to care for someone who is sick who is not complaining a lot.
Imagine that you are caring for someone who has a lot of complaints, who has a lot of whines and the like. No matter how patient we are, we do realize that it is still a real struggle to be with someone who complains a lot.
On the other hand, imagine someone who is sick, but has a way of telling you pleasantly how he or she is feeling. Putting his or her words in better composition. Then you would be calmer and gentler in assisting the sick.
Well, this is smoother in saying but of course, when we are in the real situation, it is really hard not to complain on the part of the sick and it is hard to be very patient on the part of the one who is caring for the sick.
Conclusion is, despite what we are feeling, we should still acknowledge the presence of our rationality and strengths and talents that He has given us. So that we will be able to have lesser regrets and reservations. It's good to have reservations for our own good, protection, and privacy but having a lot of it could put us in a more suffocating situation.
Actually when I was in elementary, high school (grade 7 to 10) and college, I was a moody person. I had a hard time expressing myself and so I simply locked myself in the subject Math.
One time that I was sick, I couldn't figure out whether I wanted to be cared for or not. My classmates came to inquire about me at the dorm where I was staying. I was so hotheaded that time and got angry at them for visiting me.
One of my classmates who was candid and sincere confronted me through text. There was still no messenger that time. I realized my mistake at once and I quickly apologized to her. She was messaging in behalf of our other classmates.
There, I was able to at least see myself and our reconciliation with classmates was also smooth. Though during those times there was the next glitch which made us so aloof towards one of our classmates but that would be another story.
Overtime, I was gradually changing from a hotheaded person, moody person, rude and unable to express herself person, to someone who is the opposite. I still do experience my old self from time to time but I quickly reposition myself so as to be the better version of myself.
Life is still complicated. But sad that I can't be able to review all my resolutions and wishes and desires and I can't write them all. When I write them, it makes me feel like what is this that I am doing. I will just disregard the notes anyway. So I decided to simply revise what I write over and over. I just can't totally let go of journaling what I wanted to do in life.
Then again, despite what we are feeling, what we are going through, we still have to get out of bed, bathe ourselves with soap and water, and do the things that are called our responsibility. At the same time doing our best to feel human and humane.
