I make my house enough space for myself

Maybe, I am having some sort of self-pity. I pity myself because I feel like I am pitiable. Maybe I indeed am, maybe not.

Why oh why, I get this disease from time to time. Selfmade disease. Not physical but mental and perhaps, emotional.

I am losing interest in a lot of things. Or maybe, I am just missing out on the necessary elements to enjoy life. Am I not enjoying it already? Perhaps I am, perhaps a lot is on my plate.

I do have a lot of worries. Bills, future, family, changes, shifts, etc. Mundane things, dust, piled up mails, random things. Even the messy table. I worry about lots of things and instead of simply solving some to lessen them, I come here to sulk.

And there are other considerations such as how one person looks, and how he or she interacts.

I am tempted to just stay at home and make this house enough space for myself.

I feel giddy to go out and converse with the lady next door. Yet I have things to consider.

Things aren't the same as before.

Well, I can just act as if I didn't say anything bad at all. But that is beyond me.

There's no better thing than confession and admitting to your mistakes. But even that I fail to do.

For now, I will just stay put and focus on other aspects of my life.

Shall I do yoga?

Perhaps! I've been dying to do that for like every day!

Yeah, that is it. Yoga!

A lot of possible moves I can do. Concentration postures. Relaxing, meditating. All inside my house, I can do all those.

At the end of the day I still long to be out of the prison I am creating for myself.

But for now, my empty house will house me. This is big enough, for me and my coping activities.

Soon I will go to the lady next door. And the next next door. Perhaps by then, I will have something to say.

As if we are close. No, we aren't that close. But neighbors ought to have healthy relationships even not to the level of best friends as long as they have healthy relationships.

I am glad people around aren't as aggressive as those who are very toxic.

And getting housed inside my home, they won't be minding me that much. They will just assume I have been busy with stuff and all.

That will do for now. I am having self-inflicted worries and I will deal with these worries first before going out again to mingle. And again perhaps I will say something balming to their chapped emotions.

I hope this made-up worry and disease will get healed from my system.

And this house, meanwhile, will be my abode. It should always be.

The photo above is used as the lead image. Courtesy of Unsplash.