Feeling invisible

Plants have seasons to bear fruits. Weather changes. Crops produced depend upon the season. So are people, they have their seasons.

But for an eccentric person like me, I always wanted to somehow attract something for myself. Not that I need such things but for some reason, I seek attention.

A few years ago though, I decided to stay away from the limelight. I drove myself out of the circle of colleagues or friends.

And did I like it?

I don't think so. I may just want to go away from obligations, from responsibilities but I didn't expect I wasn't alright with it.

Until recently, these days, I have the feeling of being invisible. I should like it as I have driven away so many dear people. Yet I didn't like it. In all honesty, I like to kind of feel special wherever I go.

I may just be in denial for the longest time. In truth, I wanted to be cherished, be loved, be prioritized once in a while...

Yet I am doing what I can to be invisible as much as possible. And I feel hurt when they realize what I want.

Going back to my first line, there are seasons indeed for everything. Or biblically, there is a time for everything.

Most importantly, there are many times that a person needs to be the most patient. To wait for the time. For the right time. To wait until the due time has come.

One should understand that the world contains gazillions of creatures. And we aren't the only ones who need something. There are so many of us.

I have to wake myself up every once in a while. I should know that a lot more people are in dire need than I and I didn't have to feel negativities that would lead me to depression or sadness.

I should know better. I should act more maturely. I should instead try to inspire more people.

The feeling of being invisible I guess is just self-made. I wasn't invisible at all. Perhaps, others are looking up at me.

And if ever some are looking down, I shouldn't be concerned about them at all. I should be more concerned with those people who see the good in me and tries to emulate the pleasant things I do.

I shouldn't feel invisible. Yet I can't help but feel as if nobody cares at all. I guess this is also a season of life. There is a time that we feel this way.

And what should we do?

Should I just listen to music? Should I just sleep all day? Should I sing and post on social media? Should I shout somewhere far?

Or should I forget about all my qualms and just focus on the basics?

It's crazy! I tell you... Yet people are so fickle. So absent-minded. We are ingrates. Unless someone makes us realize our existence. Unless we are made to realize our worth.

Perhaps, the contrasting feelings that we feel are what make us humans after all. Otherwise, when we feel numb and unfeeling, it goes on to say that we are either very hurt or just plain evil.

I will then be very grateful that I am not okay with being invisible. I care about others after all. I am normal after all. I belong to the human race after all.

My friend, if you do feel invisible as well, then maybe we should start approaching others and making friends.

I was friendly. And that was six hundred years ago. I don't know what made me change a lot.

Frustrations, rejections, being made to do what I wasn't supposed to do, hurt, etc... might be some of the reasons why I decided to change so much.

And so I needed to reevaluate myself. I should go back to the circle. Of course, I should choose the healthy one. It would be foolish to be foolish. Choosing what we know would destroy us.

Feeling invisible... We should be grateful after all that we are still caring individuals.

Bow!