Fading into oblivion

Faint. It is no longer that strong. I begin to not see it that frequently anymore.

I become helpless to the prospect of having it as reality. If only I can realize it...

But the limitations hold me back. The reality holds me back.

If I had the liberty, then I would've done it long ago.

Until I noticed the dream fading into oblivion.

It can't be helped if it will be gone forever.

Yet here I am, wishing I could hold on to it. Make it alive even just in my thoughts.

But fade if you must. If that is the wish of the universe. Go your way into nothingness.

Who am I to hold on to you?

What good will it give me if I realize the thoughts?

Let it fade. Let it be. Let it go. I shouldn't care anymore.

Because why should I care when I do not have the liberty to act it out anyway...

Yet I wish for the out-of-the-world chance that I will be able to do what I wanted to do.

Little by little it is fading away...

Into nothingness...

Into the realm of darkness. Or not.

I am torn between holding on to it and letting it all go.

Then a thought occurs, I can just not think about it. And I dare myself. Then I say, no! I have to hold on. Then I dare myself again.

In the end, I just let what happens to happen.

I noticed for some moments I lose it. But when I become conscious of it I ask myself if I really do not need it.

I have no qualms. I shouldn't have. But my heart is sad. Though my mind says it is just but right.

I can't decide once and for all...

If it goes into oblivion, I might as well drown my heart that is very sad and gloomy in misery... If that is what should be...