I still love you. In the night, during the day. When everyone's gone, and no one's looking.
I've stalked the net for your updates and new pictures. I like your provincial orientation. You went home to the province to live a basic life. To our province...
We both hail from the same place, and I know how it is to live there. And I love you more for your choice.
I'm stuck here at the city, forever bound to pay my dues and to live the life I've chosen.
Have you asked? I would have reconsidered. But it is only now I am thinking deeper. And partly, I regret my choices before. I should've considered you. I should have thought about you.
Perhaps for some seasons I forgot all about you. Or maybe, you have done something that made me decide to forget you.
But one time you messaged me, and I felt how you liked me. It should have developed into a deeper relationship, but boy! We were so young! We were so young...
Perhaps I am just imagining. Perhaps, I am misunderstanding. Perhaps, there never really was an us or the probability of the future with us together in one picture.
But it's never too late to express. It's never too late to lament. For my sake I keep writing this. Someday I'll get over these emotions. All of these will be over.
But loving you has given me some sort of comfort now. Let me love you the way I do it.
When we meet again, I'll wear a smile. As warm as your heart. You look older now in pictures, but I like how you aged.
Perhaps I will hide. Being a hermit has taken its toll on how I look. You may not like how I have become now. I look older than my age. I still have low self-confidence.
But I thank God, I have Him. And you? Do you thank Him? Everyday that you are living?
I want to thank Him also that I am thinking of you. How are you? How is your life? Were there instances that you thought about me? That you sought for me?
You greeted my Happy Birthday. That was 2014. I checked my archive just last month, I saw you. Then I remembered you. Then I realized you are my soulmate. Or are you?
I might just be imagining.
If I could go back to 2014, I should have nursed that conversation. I should have nursed it to grow like a tree. And I will take care of it forever. But who knew what would have happened.
It might have just broken my heart. But then playing it safe is not a way to live life as well.
I will tell myself this very moment, to live and realize our lives are not perfect is a perfect way to live. In the end, only God knows about us.
But I...
Thank you!
For coming to my life. God bless you!
