Be gentle with the self
You have been gentle to your peers. So far so good. Okay, alright. You did a good job. Your social skills are winning you a lot of friends or comrades.
Now, let us see... How have you been treating yourself so far? Did you eat well? Did you wash your face or brush your teeth?
Did you slow down a bit to check on yourself? Did you make sure your kitchen utensils were clean before you used them?
Did you tell yourself it's okay when you messed up some big task? Did you perhaps side with yourself when you know you did your best?
We do admit our mistakes when we know we were in the wrong. But sometimes, we also have to defend ourselves especially when we feel there is not enough reason to put us down.
It is not to insist that we are always right. It's just that we should also see to it that we are treating ourselves right.
We know our weaknesses. At the same time, we know where we can excel.
If someone puts us down because of the things we aren't able to accomplish, we should know how to fend for ourselves.
There is no use putting ourselves down. We should be gentle with ourselves and assure ourselves that we can make up for our weaknesses.
If we have the good heart to defend others against offenders, then we should have a bigger heart regarding ourselves in a positive light.
Besides, it is when we care for ourselves first that we can extend our hands to help others.
It is not to say that we should be selfish. That's a different matter.
In whatever season of life, being gentle with ourselves will allow us to also see others with a more passionate heart.
Well, well, well, here comes the reason why I am writing this.
I am having vaginal bleeding and I suspect that this has something to do with the way I treated myself over the last decade.
Very soon every after giving birth, I would resume my daily activities even feeling some sort of pride that "see, I am already strong enough even right after giving birth!"
I do admit that I am overdoing things. I would carry heavy things and I would dare wash clothes being exposed to water for longer than necessary.
Plus I didn't want a lot of guests to attend because I wasn't in the mood to deal with them.
In truth, I wasn't that strong enough because I would feel pain here and there and if I were more honest with myself before, I would say I needed the most help.
But years went and those became history.
And now, I am having vaginal bleeding. For some reason, I am attributing it to my rough treatment of myself.
I now hear echoes of voices from elders advising me before to seek help for as long as I had someone to help.
Help in the sense that they would temporarily do things for me while I was healing.
To cut the story short, I always dismissed such advice saying to myself that I was strong. That I didn't need unnecessary intervention.
Look at me now, contemplating whether to go to the hospital or the clinic.
Oh yes, I have plans to have myself checked. Otherwise, I am just another hypocrite. Saying this and that yet I am not being gentle with myself.
Haven't I learned my lesson? I will be seeing a doctor, particularly an OB-Gyne.
And here is to hoping that this will be very treatable. I dearly hope that it is not too late for me.
The bleeding isn't that heavy but I see some abnormalities. Or if not abnormalities, I see unusual things.
I feel slightly sharp pain somewhere near the perineum where my birth cut was located and also somewhere around the area.
There is some itching and burning sensation. Somehow, I am thankful that it is very manageable and that I still function like usual.
All the better so I still have comfort while going for checkups. I wouldn't wait for it to go worse, right? While it is still manageable, I should already take action.
Now that it has come to this, I have to be very patient and thorough with procedures. Work can wait. I mean, my job can wait for me to get healed. We only have a life.
I guess it is time to spoil the self. Once in a while, let us do this. But making sure that we should always be gentle with ourselves.
