At this point

It has come to this. I suddenly forgot where I was coming from. I don't know how it has come to this point.

But one thing's clear. I needed to go back to the beginning. I have to start from square one.

It doesn't matter if I go back for as long as I can get back.

It matters a lot that I needed to go back to the beginning. I have to start from scratch again.

Have you ever tried this? You just wake up one morning and you feel like you've lost touch with the things you used to know?

It's terrible, right?

And so I will go back. Along the way, I may even learn something new. Aspects I failed to see before. This will be a good thing.

Every time I feel like losing my touch, I try to read the works of those who first inspired me. I get ideas and I go one.

But this time, I feel like I have suddenly forgotten everything. It is like I am lost in the middle of somewhere I don't belong.

Yes, I am lost in the middle of nowhere.

What to do?

True. I should go back home. Home where I could reset this bothered mind.

I didn't expect I would be here writing all these when before I wasn't expecting to come here.

But since we are here, let me just lament.

You've been too arrogant, self. As if you'd not run into this dead end.

You thought they were enough to inspire you...

• The boy you left who committed finally and you're left with tears. When in fact, you were the one who left.

• The commitment you abandoned...

• The place that made you sigh...

• The moments you thought would get you going...

• Etc.

But despite everything, you continue to find your way. And that is where I will be working on.