Am I worthless?

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Avatar for iamanobody
3 years ago

Note: It's an emotional article, allow me to express the heavy feeling I have right now.

Being a full-time mom is not easy. As I wake up in the morning, I am already filled with so many works. I even multitask some things just to finish it all.

As I wake up, I hurriedly went to the kitchen to cook something for breakfast so that if the kids will wake up they have something ready to eat.

After breakfast, I washed all our clothes, hang them outside, and went back inside the house.

Then I will start cleaning. Sweeping the floor, arranging some things, folding all our beddings.

When I finish those it's almost lunchtime, I need to think of what to prepare for our lunch.

When afternoon came, I need to put them to sleep and it was my time to relax for a while then open my phone for entertainment.

After their sleeping time, it's time again to think about what's for our dinner, and when I already decide what to cook, I'll start preparing it so we can eat early.

That is always my everyday routine. When night came I am tired already. Just like today, I am tired because I am cleaning the whole house because of the floodwater that entered the house last night.

But this afternoon, hubby gets irritated just because of small things. He easily gets angry if we can't comply with his needs. And then he blames me for some things and remembers all my shortcomings and failures and always said it straight to my face. I know I failed sometimes as a mom and a wife. I am not perfect but saying things like I am useless kills me slowly inside. I did my best to be there for them always but sometimes they can't appreciate all the sacrifices that I made for them. They only see my failures.

Hubby is a responsible husband. He always prioritizes us and made sure to always give what's the best of us but just like me, he has also his shortcomings but I understand him. I am always patient with him. But my only problem with him is this attitude that when he gets angry, he would say some hurtful words. Sometimes I understand him but there were times that I can't especially if I am tired. I get emotional immediately. And if I am hurt I would just cry and become silent and that is what I am doing right now. I know after many hours we will be okay because he will say sorry but just this time, I get emotional because I am hurt with his words. Even if he will say sorry I will still remember the words he said. It takes days for me to be okay.

While typing this I am crying my heart out. Sorry for disturbing your day with these emotional write-ups of mine.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Want to know more about me?

You can also reach me out at this 💌 address: shanleysingco@gmail.


©iamanobody from the Philippines 🇵🇭

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3 years ago

Comments

Hats off to all moms out there. I really appreciate how mothers manage their time doing different things and being able to take care of thier family. I am not yet a mom, but one thing I'm scared of is loosing my mom. Since I am used to having her in all ups and downs of my life.

Kudos to you po. You might not be perfect, vut you are still great and wonderful. You may not have a cape to be called hero, but still you serve as a superhero to your family. Cheers po

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3 years ago

Thanks for this, I appreciate your words!😊

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3 years ago

No big deal po.., anything to make you feel better..

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3 years ago

Oh my. You sound like my mom. I thought it was only dad who do that often. Saying hurtful words everytime he gest mad to us and for our minor mistakes. I will never forget those word of his. It's painful. When you do everything andanything you can but they're not contented with it. Hey! You are not worthless. You are a great mom.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much for your positive words. I'd appreciate it so much. Now, I am feeling a bit okay and always trying to be strong and brave for my little one's.

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3 years ago

than you and welcome❤ I thought with the attitude of my dad, we will have a broken family. But they're still together. weird right? But every mother loves her kid/s that's why she wanted them to have a complete family

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3 years ago

That's true, even if we are hurt sometimes but we can endure it just for our kids. I don't want my kids to have a broken family.

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3 years ago

I salute you for such mindset. A mother will do everything for her kids and that includes keeping her family together. God bless you, @iamanobody! You are loved. Everyone will see your worth. Your kids do love you and appreciate you in every way😊 Good day!

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3 years ago

Thank you for keeping me motivated with your kind words. Yeah my kids love me so much, they kept on telling me that and I love them too. Good day to you too.

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3 years ago

yay that's great! Thank you that I'm making you feel motivated. 😊

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3 years ago

You're welcome and thank you for making time to talk with me.

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3 years ago

Same tayo sis.. Kahit mag sorry na sya at okay na ulit kamix hindi ko pa din maiwasan na maalala yung mga masasakit na mga sinabi nya sa akin.. Tapos pag nag away ulit maalala ko ulit yun.. Dagdag sa sakit na nararamdanan inside..

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3 years ago

Tama ka sis. Kahit anong sakit na sa loob yung nararamdaman ko kailangan kong magpakatatag para sa mga bata.

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3 years ago

yep. ganun talaga tayong mga ina..kailangan magsakripisyo talaga para sa mga anak

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3 years ago

Totoo sis, kahit anong hirap at sakit kaya natin yun tiisin para sa mga anak natin

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3 years ago

I salute you for your patience and love for your husband and children. Di ko ata kaya if ako yung pinagsasalitaan ng masasakit na salita ng partner ko. However, I hope that you fee better now and always remember that you are amazing 🤗

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3 years ago

Thank you for your kind words. Yeah I feel a little bit okay.

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3 years ago

You don't have to apologize for anything honey. Being a full time mom and wife is a very stressful life and a very underrated one for that matter. I can feel the pain you feel from the words of your husband, even if he says he's sorry the words were said and cannot be taken back. All you have to do is remember that you do have worth, that you do matter, and that anyone who don't see that is a fool. Don't give anybody the power to take you down, only you have the right to do so. Stay strong, look outside and smile!

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3 years ago

Thank you so much. I'm trying to be brave and strong for my kids.

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3 years ago

Saludo ako sainyo dahil napakahaba ng pasinsya mo na kahit na may nasabi saying Hindi maganda Ang asawa mo ay Hindi mo sinasabayan ang init ng ulo niya.

Pero sana ay wag mong hayaan na laging ganyan Ang ginagawa niya sayo na para bang Wala kang ginawang maganda at dahil lang sa kunting kamalian ay pagsasabihan ka niya ng masasakit na salita.

Dahil sa huli ay baka mapuno ka at Hindi mo na kayanin at Hindi malaman kung ano Ang magawa mo.

ingat Po kayo palagi. saludo sa mga ilaw nang tahanan na kahit na ano ay ginagawa para sa ikakabuti ng kanilang pamilya.

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3 years ago

Minsan naman pinagsabihan ko siya at nagsosorry siya yun nga lang may time na hindi niya makontrol yung galit niya.

Salamat sa advice at ingat ka din palagi.

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3 years ago

Masyadong mababa ang galit nya dapat makontrol niya yan Lalo na kung nangyayari yan na sinasabihan ka nya sa harap ng mga bata.

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3 years ago

Kaya nga eh, minsan pag bad mode siya sa trabaho, tatahimik nalang kami sa bahay para walang gulo. Kung maganda yung mode niya, ok naman siya tumutulong pa nga siya sa mga gawaing bahay.

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3 years ago

I feel every emotion in your post, sis. Hang in there po. This too shall pass.

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3 years ago

Thank you sis. I am trying to be strong for my kids.

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3 years ago