Something I find comfort in..

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Hello readers! Seems like our earnings are on the tough stage right now, but whatever it takes just keep on writing, sharing and stay in the platform. Today, I would like to start the Day 2 of 30DoG entitled "something I find comfort in". Eventually, I can't make daily article I just want some topics to share in this 30DoG.

From the title itself, comfort? There's a lot of things where we can find comfort it may be in a person, a place or a food. Something I find comfort is beside my son, two years being away with him doesn't give me peace of mind. Yeah, it's hard being away with the ones you love.  I'll always think of him though I know his in good and safe place together with my parents and husband. But being a Mom, hindi maaalis sa isip ko ang mag-alala! I never seen my son's milestones, just witnessing it via video call even his first speak, his first walk. It really breaks my heart kapag napapaisip ako, I'm not a good mother especially when postpartum and depression strikes. Gavin was just 2 months old when I left him with my parents and back to work (in Manila). I still remember, I used to breastfeed him but after one month I'd stop. Remembering also the day I left, simula bahay iyak na ako ng iyak hanggang sa makarating ako ng Maynila na namumugto ang mata, aobrang sakit!!! I undergone via cesarean section and every month I travel from Manila to Bicol and vice versa by land! Yes, 10-12 hours sitting in a bus. The backpain I felt during my travel is worth it after seeing my son. Kaya super abang ako if may mga long weekends that time, kapag wala naman by Friday night travel na ako niyan pa  Bicol then Sunday night back to Manila. Arrived in Manila by Monday morning deretso na sa work (wala ng ligo!) Lol! That's also the toughest thing I did!

I promised my husband that when I reached my 5 years in company I will resign. By 2021, I decided to settle down and start a new life in province (Bicol) together with my family. One year of being unemployed is a big adjustment for me, being a hands on and a full time mom is new to me. I've experience a big adjustments, there are nights I found myself crying because Gavin doesn't want to sleep on our side it really breaks me. He never even listened to me. He loved my Mom and Dad more than us. It's painful for me. 💔

As the months goes by, we are getting closer. He used to call me "Mama", the feeling that he knew I'm his mother. And now, I want to treasure and cherish every moment with him. Although I can never get back the days I'm not with him, this time all I want is to spend all my time with him. I'm thankful that I found a job here in province with weekends off and by 5:30 pm I'm already home. Excited and welcoming home by this cute little bubba! 💙

Sometimes what we want in life doesn't agreed to us, yet God have a bigger plans. It's difficult yet it gives us more lessons in life. It shaped us to grow, be matured enough and the life experiences teach us a lot.