Never be forgotten.

Loosing someone we love is hard, hard to accept and hard to move on. But, life must go on and his memory will never be forgotten...

Last September 4, 2022 is the 3rd year death anniversary of my loving brother. How it feels loosing another member of the family, AGAIN?? Yes, one of my siblings died way back year 2001 in a motor accident (maybe in my next article I could share it) and now another brother of mine passed away.

1:00 am of September 4, 2019, I got a call from one of my brother, it's unusual.. I guess he just want me to open the gate for him but I'm in the condo that time so I answered his call to not disturbed my roommates. It's already midnight that is why  I'm irritated to answer his call but when I hear his voice crying I got alarmed, then told me "Bhe, si Kuya... Patay na si Kuya, please huwag mo muna sabihin kay Mama tawagan na lang namin siya mamaya". Then my tears started to fall, I didn't even tell a word bigla na lang akong napahagulhol. I was shocked! I can't asked him, anong nangyari? The next call I received was from my Uncle, he was crying. My brother and my Uncle are very much close to each other, they grew up as best of friends. They had lot of memories during their childhood days that's why I know how deeply it hurts. Then I asked him, what happened to Kuya?... He just told me, lakasan mo lang loob mo. The third call I've got was from my Mom, I didn't expect why she's awake that time.  I'm hesitant to answer her call, What would I tell her or Should I tell her? But then, I answered it. She was crying and asking me, asan si Kuya mo? May nangyari ba kay Kuya mo? I just told her "Okay si Kuya, Ma. Bakit?".  I lied, as if I don't know anything but there is a mother's instinct, I don't know who called her that time but I knew that she alredy knew.

What really happen to Kuya? My brother was shot four times while he was in his car. The accident happen outside of the cockpit area somewhere ni Novaliches. Sabunggero po siya but everytime he wins, he shares what he have. Who wouldn't remember all his efforts to the family, even to our relatives and friends. I still remember everytime he win, he used to treat us. We've experienced a life where we can dine at a fancy restaurant,  watch in a comedy bar, travel and he will shouldered all our expenses.  He used to bought us branded things, he bought a house and lot, a car and manage a motorcycle business. I could say that our life back then was great. In terms of financial, my brother is always there ready to lend us. Kuya, gave us a lot of memories. He's the financial savior. That's why para kaming naputulan ng isang paa ng bigla siyang nawala.

The day before the accident, he's planning to go at Bicol for the birthday of our grandmother. That time he called Mom, he was crying at nasabi niya ang dami niyang problema tapos hindi pa sila okay ng partner niya kaya he needs to unwind . Alam niyo yun, ang dami niyang huling habilin before he left in this world. Before he left the house, he talked to one of our brother and said "ikaw muna bahala sa anak kong lalaki, pupunta muna ako ng Bicol"... Goosebumps! Every time he left the house hindi siya nagpapaalam talaga. All his things are packed that time and put into his car and decided to drop at the cockpit area para pumusta at baka swertehin daw. According to his friends, he won that night around 200,000 pesos. The incident happen when he enter his car, I think it was planned. I remember may naikwento si Kuya kay Mama, a months ago that one of his friend was killed by unknown persons pinagbabaril daw eto sa sabungan (the guy is rich and famous sa sabungan). Upon seeing to the pocket of his dead friend, there's a list of names na mga papatayin and my brother's name is on the list. My brother is not a drug addict ang bisyo niya lang ay ang sabong talaga. 

That midnight after I drop my mom's call, I searched my Kuya's name in Facebook. Upon reading some taggged posts, I breakdown! The news was easily spread in socmed, the photo of my brother have seen. I don't want to believe at first but when I saw the photo, I distinguished the car, his tattoos and watch. ''Nakayuko siya sa manibela ng kotse niya at naliligo sa sarili niyang dugo". I want to scream, I want to see him, I wanna hug me.... Ang sakit lang it was a nightmare.

No words can express how badly it affects us. Bakit nagawa nila yun kay Kuya, Bakit?? That's the question leaves us unquestionable.. Upon reviewing the CCTV, there are two men waiting at the gate of the area, my brother together with his "kristo" or can be called the one who's carrying his panlaban na mga manok was also killed. Sabay sila ni kuya sumakay ng kotse at unang pinagbabaril si Kuya at nagmamadaling tumakbo ang kristo niya papalayo sa sasakyan ngunit nabaril rin eto ng isang gun men at nakahandusay sa maputik na daan. The case declared close, the faces of two gun men are unidentified masyadong blurred yung sa CCTV. Days and months passed by, we doesn't have any updates about it. We only recovered my Kuya's watch and phone but his bag and wallet are not in the crime scene anymore. It difficult for us to find the justice, wala kaming laban, wala kaming malapitan ng tulong. Hindi man namin nakuha ang hustisya para sa kapatid ko, I know in God's hand there is justice. Kung sino man ang gumawa nun kay Kuya ay ipinagpapasa diyos na lang namin at sana'y makonsensiya ang totoong may gawa. 🙏

The fact that he's my half brother, we never felt any difference. We grow up all together and treated each other as true siblings. There is no perfect family, we urgue and misunderstood sometimes but in the end we are family.

To my loving Kuya,

Ngayon, iniisip ko na lang yung masasayang bonding natin na pamilya. Ang dami kong memories sayo kuya, ang laki ng utang na loob ko sayo. Sobrang nasasaktan talaga ako kasi iba yung naging bonding natin, ramdam ko yung pagmamahal mo saamin na magkakapatid.. Panganay ka, bunso at solong babae pa ako, spoiled sister talaga ako! Naalala ko sasabihin mo "bihis ka nie, sama ka mag grocery."
Yung time na mag-aaya ka mag grocery tapos papapiliin mo kami ng gusto namin.

Yung one call and txt lang sayo..
"Kuya, may project ako...
"Kuya, may gusto ako bilhin..
"Kuya, pahiram sasakyan mo..
"Kuya, pahingi pera..
Etc!

Ang bilis mo lapitan pag meron ka kasi never kang naging madamot. Oo, Kuripot ka minsan.. Ewan ko ba, pero alam ko malakas ako sayo. Masungit and bossy ka man, ganun talaga ugali mo eh.. Na medyo hindi rin naiintindihan ng iba. Salamat dahil may mga panahong nakikinig ka rin sa akin. Salamat sa lahat ng ginawa mo lalo na sa pamilya natin. Alam kong masaya ka na ngayon, hindi ka na stress jan at wala ka ng iisipin na problema. Tahimik na ang mundo mo.
Salamat sa lahat, kuya 💙