It would be great if people were taught how to talk. Language is the noblest tool we have, to both reveal and conceal thought, speaking is in itself a kind of spiritual act, and 'conversation' is the most subtle of the arts, says Oscar Wilde. How has your experience with speaking been shaped? How many times during the day do you have the opportunity to chat, albeit casually, and perhaps unintentionally, how many times do you have to talk to someone on your feet?
Most of us try to protect ourselves when we encounter unfamiliar people, so as not to get hurt. The personalities of these people initially seem vague to us. While there is potential for a deep and meaningful relationship, we want to stay in a safe space until we get to know them better. Short conversations are actually just a helping hand to our defensive instinct, giving us ways to make relationship connections at a slower, more reasonable pace.
In addition, it has been proven by many studies that casual conversations make people feel happier and more competent. Like it or not, these conversations can be an integral part of your success, and the types of conversations you have apparently have a huge impact on your personal well-being. In 2010, scientists from the University of Arizona and Washington University in St.Louis investigated whether the conversation types of happy and unhappy people differ, and according to the results of this research published in the journal Psychological Science; The happiest participants were found to be twice as likely to engage in deep conversations and one-third as many times as short conversations than the unhappiest participants.
In the normal course of human relations, casual conversations are the forerunners of deep conversations. Most people need to be comfortable with each other before a serious conversation or an ongoing friendship can take root. If you do not like and avoid these short conversations; in practice, you also deprive yourself of many meaningful social interactions.
If we take a look at the benefits of short chats;
They help you make a good impression: A short talk gives you a lot of information and helps you read the atmosphere of your environment. Anything that can make a good impression; perhaps you can test the other person's character or possible sensitivities without making any blunders.
They help you with your career: That person you haven't met in a setting may not be as foreign to you as you think. Chatting with him about the weather can give you a way to share your career aspirations, which can present you with that opportunity to trigger an unexpected career connection.
Perhaps the beginning of your lasting relationships begins with those short conversations: Think of your closest friends. Your relationship probably started with small talk, right? If you chat with someone new, you can also earn yourself a lifelong friendship.
It can be a source of inspiration for your new ideas: Chatting also opens up ways for you to create new thoughts and ideas as you speak. You force yourself to think in new ways when talking to someone you don't feel very comfortable with. Ideas that are really interesting and unexpected can come up with this trend.
They help you focus: Apart from our distracting technologies in today's world, our minds also constantly take us elsewhere and can prevent us from living in the moment. Even being able to get away from our judgments and phones in our minds for a while and focus on the other person and listen to him or her will help us to focus our attention.
They'll help you solve your problems: Small talk makes some changes in your brain. Studies by researchers at the University of Michigan suggest that the social interaction required by short conversations, especially when trying to take the place of the other person and read their mind, can increase our problem-solving ability.
In general, every conversation comes to life in a two-tier cycle. In the first layer, we communicate information or ideas. This is the semantic content of speech; that is, the side of the meaning of words. On the other layer, talking is a social behavior. Every speech is an action, not just to convey something, but also to do something: to reassure, to accept, to nurture, to command, to reject, to dominate, to encourage, or just to fill an awkward silence. To be able to master both layers of speech in a well-meaning way, to use speech more effectively, there are four strategies that will contribute to your short conversations:
1. Ask open-ended questions.
Almost everyone would rather talk about themselves than talk about something they know little about. Open-ended questions create an interesting, dynamic conversation space and make it easier for the person you are talking to to open up to you. In these types of questions, focusing on the stories to be told rather than the answers is the most enjoyable part of the job. A few examples of questions.
If you weren't doing this job, what would you possibly be doing right now?
What surprises you most about your current life?
Are there any apps on your phone that you can't live without?
If you could only watch one type of movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Are there any books that others love but you hate?
Do you have any podcast suggestions for me to listen to on my travels?
2. Practice active listening.
You may not like the idea of being able to shut up occasionally, but if you can, you'll make much stronger connections. It is actually much easier to be able to just listen to the person speaking and ask relevant questions without being busy with yourself or your surroundings.
3. Dispose of your phone.
When we feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar in social situations, we tend to dive into our phones; but nothing can sabotage your conversational efforts like these distracting tech gadgets. With this attitude, you send a simple “stay away” message to everyone.
4. Show your enthusiasm.
Of course, by avoiding excess. Small chats aren't always the easiest actions. However, with the right attitude, you can actually have fun. You never know who you will meet or what they will share.
Although the content of all types of conversations may seem to be related to your connection with the other party, it actually defines that magical space where you go back and tell yourself how you look at yourself and how you came into existence.
Ho, ho.. I am not really good nor fond of small talks though. :( But okay, I will do my best, anyway you are right. The closest of my friends are here due to small talks that grew into deeper friendship over time.