My mind is never quiet.
I think the same things over and over.
If there is an important event coming up, I think about it so much that I can't sleep at the end, I get angry and unhappy.
Once I start thinking about an event that bothers me, I can't stop.
Thinking so much makes me feel helpless and alone.
I am so angry at myself for not being able to change anything.
Other people's lives are fine, but I can never be happy.
I wish I could turn back time and fix everything.
Negative thoughts recurring over and over in the mind. This is called rumination in psychology. Such repetitive thoughts are associated with depression, social anxiety, obsessions, sleep disturbances, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Having repetitive and persistent thoughts about yourself, your anxieties, and your life is a mental process common to all humans. This concept, which is defined as a state of constant preoccupation with a single subject or thought, is considered as an important cognitive process that plays a role in the development of many mental problems, especially anxiety and mood disorders. Such thoughts are uncontrollable, they become reversible and repetitive. It creates a predisposition to depression by causing negative memories to be remembered more often, by creating a feeling of helplessness, by causing negative thinking to continue, and by reducing the person's ability to produce effective solutions to their problems.
These repetitive thoughts lead to a more pessimistic view of the existing problem and a more critical and accusatory attitude towards yourself when interpreting the aspects of the problem that are relevant to you. Thus, you become more pessimistic about the solution of the problem, insecure in dealing with the problem and reluctant to take action towards the solution. According to the cognitive approach, the common functioning underlying all mental problems is distorted or dysfunctional thoughts that affect the individual's mental state and behaviors. In short, people's emotions and behaviors change depending on how they interpret events. Accordingly, people are not only affected by the situation they are in or by their past; What really matters to people is their current thinking about situations.
Having this habit of thinking that recurs in a chronic way also causes problems in interpersonal relationships. For example, being prone to rumination makes it harder for you to forgive those you disagree with and increases the tendency to take revenge. Or, on the contrary, an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the well-being of others, excessive self-sacrifice, dependence, and neediness. Constantly analyzing the past and making detailed plans for the future results in rumination. Although there are few studies on the developmental basis of rumination, it is thought that the family attitude may be a response model for the child; In a study of 5-7-year-old children with and without depressed mothers, it was found that children whose mothers were depressed were more passive and showed more helplessness in the face of frustration or failure. According to theorists, interventionist and judgmental mother attitudes, which do not allow children to cope with a problem, do not teach another approach to the problem, reveal these results.
In a study conducted with people with negative thinking cycles and recurrent depression, it was determined that the participants had a common statement: “Ruminations about the past help me to prevent future mistakes and failures.” This study also gives us an idea of why we ruminate. Rumination becomes functional because it provides a sense of control to the person. As a result, it becomes difficult to let go of something that has a function in your life. The feeling of inadequacy and the decrease in self-confidence and self-perception are also reasons for rumination. The increase in negative thoughts about oneself, others and the world also initiates rumination.
How does psychological counseling help you?
The definition of professional counseling adopted by the American Counseling Association in 1997 is as follows:
“The application of mental health, psychology, and developmental principles to address issues of individual well-being, personal and professional development, and pathology through cognitive, affective, behavioral, and interactional intervention strategies.”
In the book Psychological Help Relationships, says the following about psychological counseling:
“Psychological counseling is a help provided by the psychological counselor who is a professional staff member. This help takes place through psychological methods and techniques.”
Regarding psychological counseling and therapy competence, the Psychological Counseling and Guidance Association makes the following statement:
As it is known, only the Psychological Counseling and Guidance department provides the competence to provide psychological counseling and therapy services in undergraduate education. In addition to determining the definition and scope of the psychological counselor profession in terms of legislation, academic qualifications were determined by the Qualifications Framework.
However, it should not be forgotten that courses, certificates, thesis and non-thesis master's degrees, etc., are required to do psychological counseling apart from diploma. activities cannot provide counseling/psychotherapy competency.
Although psychological counseling is a mental health specialty in the field of health, it is a process that helps you cope with adjustment problems related to the situations you encounter in daily life. For this reason, individuals receiving psychological counseling are not described as "Patients" but as "Client". In other words, the psychological counseling process deals with the problems of “Normal” individuals in daily life. It is natural to seek help when you are unable to cope and adapt to the changes taking place in your life. In the light of this information, I can say that psychological counseling will benefit you as follows.
The problem you bring, your negative beliefs, repetitive thoughts in your mind, your unrealistic self-perception, your expectations from this process, your needs, the things that are not going well in your life and the things you want to improve in your life are determined. Your goals are determined and by using methods and techniques suitable for your goals, it is ensured that you can manage your mind and life in this direction.
As a result, you become more balanced and peaceful, both physically and mentally.
Though pessimism is a negative trait, it must be invoked in a balanced manner along with optimism. For me, that's the best way to deal with doubts and apprehension.