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How to stay strong when there is so much pain in life

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Written by   64
2 months ago

Anxiety and pain. There's nothing we won't do to avoid these two. But a carefree and pain-free life seems unlikely, especially in our recent experience. Because of all these, you may find yourself constantly feeling anxious, unhappy and hopeless. This inevitably leads to anxiety. The source of anxiety disorder lies in cognitive, that is, in the perception and thought processes of the person.

Underneath anxiety, there is an intense perception of danger in an intellectual sense, and on the other hand, self-confidence and feeling powerless in terms of coping with this danger. As human life contains good things, unfortunately it also contains bad and painful things. Many of these painful and bad events are inevitable: getting sick, getting old, and ultimately death. Confronting life's problems brings with it anxiety, pain, grief, and sadness. So, how can we stand firm without getting caught up in our emotions, thoughts and feelings that force us in these days?

Some people feel helpless and very difficult in the face of issues that seem less important to others, have a hard time coping with what they are going through, do not know what to do, or feel like whatever they are doing is not going to work. These people are considered to have weak psychological resilience. Some people, on the other hand, can easily overcome the situations that most people consider to be a great difficulty, and they continue with their lives and plans as if they are very ordinary or their struggle is very ordinary.

The psychological resilience of these people is considered to be strong. In one way or another, we all have the capacity for resilience, we all go through situations, events and relationships that require some form of resilience. In other words, psychological resilience is not a power that we do not have at all and that we need to take from outside. On the contrary, resilience is the sum of the skills and experiences that we all have and that we use in the face of small or big difficulties we experience every day.

The concept of resilience comes from the English word resilience and means flexibility. Flexibility means going through difficult events without changing, unaffected, or breaking, and finally returning to the original. There are three things to note here. The first is that we are affected by what we experience, and that is not wrong. Psychological resilience does not mean that a person is emotionless, unaffected, or not forced at all. We are human and we will definitely be affected by what we experience, and this is very natural and necessary. Second, the fact that humans have the flexibility to change and adapt to challenges. The third is the ability to return to one's origins and leave negativity behind, after all the difficulties experienced, after everything is over, and the lessons to be learned from the experiences have been learned.

In short, psychological resilience means being able to be flexible with the necessities of being alive, being able to avoid ignoring, denying and rejecting what comes along, and avoiding resisting to stay there and continue life after living.

Protective factors in psychological resilience

Protective factors that make it easier for people to use psychological resilience against the difficulties they experience are very important. Because these protective factors; It reduces the effect of the chain of negativity that can occur after negative and troublesome situations, ensures the formation and maintenance of self-esteem and self-efficacy, and creates new opportunities in one's life. There are many studies on protective factors in the resilience literature. According to these studies, protective factors are listed as follows:

If you have a positive and easy temperament,

If your willpower is strong,

If you have high self-esteem,

If you have self-awareness and accept yourself,

If you are autonomous,

If you have life goals and positive expectations for the future,

If you have developed effective problem-solving skills,

If you are optimistic and hopeful,

If your social competence is high,

If you have a sense of humor,

If you have a supportive family environment,

If you have peer support,

If your social resources around you are effective and you benefit from them effectively,

You are in an advantageous position in terms of psychological resilience.

Some advice to increase your resilience

Check your pre-acceptances. If your pre-acceptances about yourself, your life and people are negative, it is inevitable that you will have difficulties in this period. Think about how these negative presuppositions make you feel. As Spinoza said, "A person who loses faith in the future either gives up on life or continues his life at a vegetative level."

Know that you are stronger than you think. You are stronger and more resilient than you think. We know that many people who think that they will collapse after a great pain or hardship and who believe that they cannot continue continue their lives in a stronger and more peaceful way. Viktor Frankl, who personally experienced the Nazi camp, says, “In the Nazi camps, in the face of death, which is sure to come, there were very difficult days, among the prisoners who had experienced experiences, those who held on to courage and hope, and those who did not lose their resilience and faith, survived despite everything.”

Have a purpose. Whatever the challenge you're going through, it's much easier to overcome it if you have a reason to overcome it. Because having a purpose makes one resilient and strong, it becomes a pillar. Here, too, let's leave the word to Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live overcomes all hows."

Do something. No matter how hard you are in this period of your life, I say give a hand to the things you postponed. If there is something that you postpone, do not have the opportunity to find time for, and there is always something, try to deal with it. In this way, you will not leave yourself empty and you will feel more peaceful by completing your unfinished works.

Meet yourself. As I said above, people with high self-awareness are more psychologically sound. It is a good opportunity to better understand yourself, realize what you have, evaluate yesterday and today, and prepare for the future. In these days when there is so much noise outside, listen to your own inner voice and try to hear it.

Be productive. We all need to produce, to be useful, to be useful, to know that our existence has value. We all want to feel like we exist. It is especially valuable these days to produce something, whether small or big, important or unimportant, and trying to provide a benefit. As Viktor Frankl said, “It is not what we expect from life that matters, but what life expects of us.”

Happiness is contagious. Happiness and unhappiness are contagious. Therefore, try to make those around you feel happy and peaceful as much as you can, and do this for yourself first. Supporting a neighbor who is having financial difficulties, shopping for an elderly person who can't leave his house, calling an old friend you haven't seen for a long time, calling your elders you can't go to are small but valuable sources of happiness. If you are happy, you will be happy too.

Maintain your body and mind integrity. Sometimes you may show depressive, unhappy symptoms that are just caused by not paying enough attention to your physical and mental health. For this, take care of yourself in terms of sleep, nutrition and exercise. It will be good for you to keep hope mentally, close yourself to bad news and keep your morale high.

Get psychological counseling. If you cannot cope with challenging life events on your own, seek professional help. There are studies that show that psychological counseling is effective in coping with negative life events.

As a final word, let me remind you that resilience is not a power unique to a special group of people with certain knowledge or privileges. So you also have psychological resilience. Maybe you just need to remember this.

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Written by   64
2 months ago
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