The necessity of forgiveness and its positive effects on us are now known and accepted by everyone. Forgiveness liberates people and allows them to breathe easily. However, putting it into practice is not always as easy as saying it. It can even be the hardest decision we have ever made in our lives.

There are many factors that hinder forgiveness in front of it. The bad and inappropriate behaviors we have been exposed to, the injustice we have suffered, the disappointments we have experienced, and most importantly, the person we will forgive stands upright as an obstacle to forgiveness. At this point, “How will I forgive?”, “If I forgive, will I experience the same things again?”, “What will happen if I forgive?” Questions like these start to circulate in our minds. This makes the decision process more difficult.

Another obstacle to forgiveness is the meanings we attach to it. Sometimes we attribute this meaning to it personally, and sometimes the society itself. These meanings we attach to it, our interpretation of forgiveness in a very different way than it really is, makes it difficult to forgive. In order to remove these obstacles, we need to see and realize what forgiveness is not, perhaps more so than knowing the necessity of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not ignoring what is, ignoring it, approving it. It is never naivety, powerlessness, submission, reconciliation with that person. Forgiveness does not make up for the wrong done. Forgiveness is accepting the existence of the wrong done and removing its bad effects on us. It is not allowing the event or person to have any power over us. It is choosing not to carry the burden of anger, anger and hatred.

Just because we forgive someone, choosing not to suffer because of what they did, does not mean that we will continue the relationship with that person. We have no such obligation. Just because we're going to continue the relationship where it left off or start from scratch doesn't mean we want it. We can forgive someone and very well end our relationship with that person. Because forgiveness is a decision we make about ourselves, not about someone else. That's how it should be. We make this decision for our future, not to erase or ignore what has been done in the past.

Whether or not to take the decision to forgive is not a choice for that person. This decision is entirely up to us. It is a decision we make for ourselves. By choosing to forgive, we choose the feeling of compassion instead of hatred to keep and grow within us. In fact, this decision is, in a way, choosing which emotion we want to experience. Is it hate? Is it compassion? Because we experience the emotion we choose the most. Even though we try to make others live, we know that they cannot carry that burden as much as we do.

Why does it hurt so much!

Whatever color I drop on my invisible pain,

He's drowning in grief.

The happiness that comes does not come from you!

Nothing catches your eye.

I'm melting, will it end?

Favorite !

I am happy with my loved ones that I do not love.

Even though I don't want to be ungrateful

please forgive me

I don't feel tired other than writing.

A breath came and I

I find law for you the fields of my heart

Why am I doing this to myself?

If you hug, look,

If you say my name,

Like it will pass.

Forgiveness is a time-consuming process. We cannot forgive someone or something at once. Forgiveness that happens all of a sudden is not a real forgiveness. It will reveal itself again in the future. If we want to forgive, we should not think about how to forgive, but why we need to forgive. While thinking about this, we should also be aware of what forgiveness is not.

And we must remind ourselves: To forgive is to be liberated.