Imagine you have a small child who needs your attention. This may be your own childhood as it stuck in your dreams. Every once in a while, "Is everything okay, do you need anything?" means actually visiting yourself. How do you feel, what is going on in your mind, what part of your body is alive, what part of it tells you something?
The more routine your visit to yourself becomes, the easier and quicker it is to understand the state of your body or mental state. Thus, you look for the answer to your own needs first, not in others, but in yourself. By doing this, you will strengthen your connection and friendship with yourself. Whether you call it self-love, self-kindness, or self-compassion, you might end up thinking that they're all a way to connect with yourself the moment you're present. When you find that path for yourself, then feelings such as love, kindness, and compassion will automatically accompany you.
Every person needs to be seen, heard, loved, understood, belonging, valued and respected. These are the universal needs of all humanity. We tend to meet these needs mostly with the relationships and connections we build. Because we have expectations from relationships. When these needs are met mutually, there is no problem. However, if it is not met regularly from the other side, this becomes a problem. The balance in the relationship is shaken. At this point, being aware of and owning one's own needs plays an important role. Someone who can do this regularly will be in a position to do this for himself when the balance is broken in the relationship. If we consider the subject on a relational plane, regular visits to oneself will also help the person to be aware of their needs and to express this in a healthy way.
-So how can you visit yourself?
-Actually, there are a few very simple questions for this. To yourself,
-How do I feel?
-What are the feelings in my body?
-What thoughts are crossing my mind
-What do I need right now?
You can ask questions such as regularly. As you respond to these, you can choose what to do with the feeling, thought and need you notice. So you can take responsibility for them and give yourself what you need.
For example; If your answers are as follows: I feel tired, exhausted and unhappy. My shoulders hurt and I have tension in my jaw. I think about how the meeting tomorrow will go, but on the other hand, I think I should prepare no food at home. I need to rest and eat. If what you need in these answers is to rest and feed yourself, you can find a practical solution for eating, then take time to relax and perhaps allow yourself to do nothing. If you choose and do this consciously, it means that you act with full awareness and own your need! We live with examples like this a lot in everyday life, you can think and evaluate it for relational needs and act according to the answers you give. Just don't forget to visit yourself and take responsibility for your needs!
As you visit yourself, remember that every emotion and every thought comes and goes. It is important that your intention is to recognize and accept them. You can think of them as guests who have visited you. I want to end my article with a poem that I love very much as I started. Hope you keep this in mind when visiting yourself.
My lying spring
Being without you means half-heartedness, long nights
You know it better than anyone else,
Let before anyone else see me fading like a rose,
Nobody sees but you know much better
When the raindrop falls, I think of you on the ground,
I say that you are the wet lover again, you are not,
You know best to observe your ways in case it comes.
I loved your beady eyes and your heartwarming words over time,
I wrote my lifelong breath with you to death, understand now,
This soul is not mine anymore, do not think it will live again,
Understand from me to you, the owner of my heart, in these words.
I tried closed doors, forced it, couldn't open it again,
The love I lost myself while looking into your eyes
I believed, will you make you believe, other than me.
I wanted to share this kind of article. I guess I couldn't be successful. They are not as beautiful as you