Awareness on Myself When Making Change Decisions

The first day of the exchange; While it may seem like an ideal time to transform, clean your closets, or lose five inches of belly fat, the perception that the beginning of "Time for Change" is special is just an illusion. With this illusion that provides us with a temporary willpower, we allow ourselves to postpone until the next "perfect" date comes, to enter the path to our wishes. While every moment is perfect and convenient to start living the life we ​​say we want; something holds us back and we wait for the beginning of the week, the beginning of the month or the first day of the new year. However, our intentions can always be realized without being confined to a deadline.

Whether we approve or reject it, dozens of people we know are now making "Time for Change Decisions". Making decisions is a fairly simple act for most of us. As we move through the ebb and flow of our mind, imperative sentences and certain expectations for certain consequences quickly appear in our inner voice. We have personality traits that we don't necessarily like, we have all kinds of addictions, we have glaring physical defects, and we constantly judge ourselves. Then we write reasoned decisions so that our faults will be "punished". We impose the items we listed on ourselves with innocent labels such as "Time for Change Intentions". However, psychologically, it is clear that most of these decisions cannot be fulfilled, and what we essentially do when making these decisions is actually creating stress and overwhelming pressure in our mental and physical sphere.

In everyday life, we often use the word stress to describe negative situations. This causes many people to misjudge that stress is completely bad for their psychology, but it should be noted that stress has two different aspects at this stage. If we look at the difference between the terms 'estress', which is a term related to positive stress, and 'distress', which refers to negative stress *:

The characteristics of estress, that is, positive stress;

-It motivates and focuses the energy.

-It is short term.

-It works in conjunction with our coping mechanism.

-It feels exciting.

-Improves performance.

-It makes it easier to implement the decisions made.

-Distress, that is, negative stress;

-It causes restlessness and anxiety.

-It can be short or long term.

-It goes beyond the jurisdiction of our coping skills.

-It instills an unpleasant sensation.

-It causes mental and physical damage.

-It interferes with the decision making process.

It is now scientifically accepted that stress, which is not excessive and beneficial, that is estress, has benefits on cognitive functions and general health. Low-level stressors also increase productivity and creativity by triggering brain cell production called neurotrophin and strengthening the connections between neurons in the brain. Many neuroscientific studies have shown that even our body muscles need to be subjected to estrogen. Without knowing these two aspects of stress, it may not be possible to take the right course in life, either. When stress is completely avoided, the process of numbness and actually disappearance begins. Decisions made can neither be applied nor a healthy body dynamics can be achieved. In cases where stress reaches a high dose, we lose control and are doomed to get the same results. It is very functional to have a balance in this regard. One of the most important reasons why people push themselves to suffer to make New Year's decisions has to do with the mind's addiction to stress. There is an awareness-raising story on this subject;

One day a musician playing the Sitar (a stringed instrument used in Indian culture) goes to Buddha for meditation training and asks;

"Should I keep tight control over my mind in meditation or should I let it flow?"

Buddha answers the question with the question, "What happens when you tune your instrument too tightly?"

"The strings are broken," replies the musician.

Buddha asks again; "What happens if you tie it too loosely?"

The musician replies and adds, "It doesn't sound when it's too loose;" “Strings must be neither too tight nor too loose to produce a harmonious sound”.

"That's the answer," says Buddha, "neither too tight nor too loose."

This old story actually contains metaphorical elements that can be used to live a healthy life; “When we live a balanced and measured life; We produce the 'harmony' we need, ”he whispers to our ears.

Generally, our brain has a center of stress, a center of pleasure, and a center of compassion. We can make an analogy between the wires on the scilar and the three brain centers. When one is determined, as with a very tightly tuned sitar, this decision can create pressure and tension in our mind and body, making it fragile. The stress center of the brain, which was formed in the early stages of human evolution; it developed to protect it from the dangers of the forest, not from the trivial, artificial structures of the mind. With our uncontrolled perspective on stress, we lead to the chronic activation of our nervous system and the release of excessive amounts of stress hormones such as adrenaline-cortisol into the body. After all; Most of the common New Year goals, such as balancing the budget, saving for college and retirement, paying off a 30-year mortgage, eating less junk food, building more muscle and reducing body fat, gaining salary and climbing the corporate ladder, millions of years old did not exist throughout its evolution. We continue to chronically expose ourselves to distress with these modern-time goals that are alien to our evolutionary biology.

If we take a look at the pleasure center of our brain, it would be revealing to mention a scientific experiment conducted on mice in 1953 regarding this region. In this experiment, mice were primarily subjected to extreme intense stress. Subsequently, they were directed to release dopamine that stimulates the pleasure zones. The dopamine they secrete as a result of extreme stress is so strong that mice; While they were trying to fulfill these desires, they did not even realize their basic needs. After a while, they came to the limit of death due to fatigue. These impulses also constitute the basis of addictions. Humans, as observed in mice, immediately begin to self-sabotage in order to relax after facing intense pressure. As with a very loosely tuned sitar, this time they become unable to produce any music at all. With excessive relaxation stimulating the pleasure center of the brain, they can get caught up in unhealthy habits and addictions. In summary, a person who has made the decision to lose 30 kilos in the new year can first put himself on a strict diet with this decision, and after a short time, turn to worse but enjoyable habits in order to escape the intense negative emotions created by this pressure.

The brain also has a compassion center and the name of the hormone associated with this center; It is the ‘oxytocin secreted from the posterior pituitary gland. It is also known as the hug, happiness or love hormone. The main question that arises is to whom we should be most affectionate to. That person that we make decisions and expose to the harshest state of stress, and then relieve them with unhealthy pleasures so that they can cope with stress, is actually the person who deserves compassion the most. Self-compassion is an essential feeling for a healthy mind and body, and people can only show compassion to others after this step. By taking care of ourselves; We create balance, encourage calmness, and create satisfaction at the same time. Satisfaction can often only be felt when the mind, body, and emotions are comfortably satisfied with the present moment. There is no other external situation that can truly create satisfaction.

When making decisions, we often reject our present moment and thus deepen our relationship with pain. In fact, this pain is the pain of escaping the truth and trying to exist without accepting ourselves. Our most important mechanism that can be used to avoid being trapped; It is our state of being in balance. The strings of our sitar are neither too tight nor too loose; We can harmoniously create the soundtrack of our relationship with life if it vibrates with an appropriate adjustment. Approaching ourselves with compassion and moment-to-moment awareness will also enable us to nourish our music.

The bottom line is to think that you need to make a change in your life and keep it every day. Remember that you only have the present, rather than making a decision to change the future. The present moment is where life happens; to be present carefully, to be conscious, to continue the flow of life and to experience true existence. While you are reading these lines; You can choose the intention to be fully present and awake and become free.

Your new life can begin right now.