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The other day I watched the new TV series "It's Another". With its first episode, the series made it clear that it came to create awareness and confrontation in the society. In this article, there is something I want to share with you, inspired by the series. I hope it contributes to your life.
Acceptance is freedom
Where does "hate" live when you hate someone? Whoever hates is in his body! So, when you actually hate someone, you fill your heart with that feeling. And if you are stubborn, you keep it inside for years in order not to let go of the hate. And sometimes the other person doesn't even know about it.
All emotions are fluid and want to stay fluid
Emotion comes from the English word emotion, that is, e-motion (energy in motion). It is energy in motion. All emotions, by their very nature, want to be in motion. Coming, feeling and going. However, when we hold on to them, they have to solidify and settle in the body as they solidify. Over time, these hardened feelings turn into discomfort. Since emotions are fluid, they always try to be free in order to return to fluidity. Triggering is an effort to dissolve this solidified state.
Can you liberate hatred like all other emotions and let it flow? For this, you will first need to understand acceptance.
Do you have to love in order to accept?
Accepting is one thing, loving is another. Acceptance is very simply being able to see someone as they are and watch them exist without trying to change them. Sometimes “I don't understand how can a person think like that? How does he do such things?" we say. Could we be forgetting that in those times, all humans are actually unique?
We are all different beings and we have developed different characters from the moment we were born to the present day. We have strengths and weaknesses, sensitivities. We have dreams and realities. Our met and unmet needs. We want to be seen, validated, and exist. There are strategies we develop to be loved. Some of these are harmful to us, our loved ones and society. However, we find it difficult to see and let go of these strategies that have become a way of feeling loved, and we are hungry for love like a flower needs water.
Yes, of course we don't have to love each other. Even the words love and have to be used in the same sentence is a complete contradiction. However, if we truly and sincerely dream of a better world, we must practice acceptance today and under all circumstances. To try to change one another, we must learn to look not by looking for its shortcomings, but to see it as it really is.
What kind of person is this person who is shouting the opposite of my opinion with all his pretensions right now? Can my mind pull back a little, wanting to shout out the truth of my own thoughts despite his claims? Could this be an opportunity to go beyond my own thoughts and knowledge? Could it be a new door to freedom to follow this person, who has recognized the opposite of what I believe as true, without judgment? Is life really what I can describe? Or can I open my heart to the maturity of seeing that everything that exists in it is a part of life, accepting that it is a huge body of unknowns?
And in doing so, can I offer myself the same acceptance? When I realize that I'm judging another, just by seeing it exist inside of me. And by incorporating the practice of acceptance into my life to expand the boundaries I have built for myself. Remembering that I don't have to accept it. Knowing that I may not be able to do it yet, but trying at every opportunity.
Just practicing will expand your heart. For whom was your heart filled with hatred last? Who is that person you can't even stand to see? Now can you close your eyes briefly and look at him in your imagination just to see him? To see his pain, his consciousness, his human condition trying to live. Maybe for the first time you can look at him just to get to know him?
Is it for the other to accept the other? Or is it for you?
The practice of accepting one another is primarily for you. It is the practice of liberating yourself from the limits you set for yourself. As you become free, your heart fills with more life and peace.
No matter what I do, I can't accept it.
Acceptance is not a goal. First you have to stop trying to accept it. Acceptance is a state of being that comes naturally. Just an intention. The real practice is to “see things as they are” and this practice can bring you acceptance. These little “seeing things as they are” practices that you will do every day will pile up on each other and will carry you to a whole new consciousness. And the day will come, when you look at people, you will no longer see only their thoughts and words, but the person behind them. The pain and unmet needs of that person. You will find that the people who hurt are the people who suffer.
It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Yes, “accepting” is a challenging practice for all of us. However, it's an amazing development tool!
And starting to see that the people who hurt are the people who suffer may be the only way to end this era of violence and discrimination that we are going through.
What would life be like if all people accepted each other as they are?
How would you be?
What do you think, don't you think it's worth a try?