Deep inside

All of us certainly have something buried deep inside of our hearts. Some of it is too heavy to be kept inside but then also inappropriate to be poured out to just anyone. It seems like we have reached the end of a peaceful mind. Well, it will only be the end if we think that it is. If we keep on fighting and searching for a solution for each of those things that trouble us, it will never be the end of a peaceful life. It will only be the end if we give up on living the life we wish to.

It will not be an easy road to go through. I do not think that there is an easy road to a good life. Even those whom we thought already living a good life still encounter troubles beyond our imagination.

The first thing to do is to stop being jealous of what others have accomplished in their life. Start seeing what have we already achieved even if it is the slightest accomplishment.

Seeing a bed-bound patient, unable to move on their own at first, managing to turn sideways from a supine position independently is that kind of small achievement. Perhaps the achievement is small in our perspective but then it is a big achievement for that patient. Imagine ourselves being unable to move on our bed. Not even capable of lifting our hands and leg. One day, after a thousand training, to be independent on the bed, we are able to turn sideways without any help from anyone else.

How would you think that feels?

Most would wish to see that bed-bound patient get out of the bed and walk home but not every patient can be a miracle that we wish for. As for us, we appreciate those small improvements for it is a sign for us not to give up on that patient. That achievement is like a whispering voice telling us...

They can do it...

They will be better...

Keep on training them...

Seeing those patients train themselves over and over again even after they almost fall, even they can't even lift a finger until the moment they can take their first step away from the bed. It is a blessing. It is worth the effort to train them. It is alright even it took a month or more. They can walk again.

It hurt a lot seeing them go after they achieve that much but then death is not something we can control. I am not sure if there are others that felt the same way I do but I am sure there is. I am sure all my colleague feels the same.

The time we spent with them and those smiles we see is worth the tiredness even when we are not the most important part of that achievement. We might be the smallest parts of that achievement, but the satisfaction that we got is precious. It gave us the motivation to keep on working hard. Dedication paid us well.

Therefore...

No matter the weight of those burden we carried inside our heart, as long as we do not lose hope, someday a solution will come.

Giving up and burying ourselves into depression is easier but it is worthless. We will end up with disappointment and regrets.