Challenges in life are inescapable. I always felt that my life is miserable compare to those who are the cause of my struggles. I put blames on them, I kept hatred and angered. I was before churchgoers since the beginning of my childhood until my perspective change.

Human is human.

A long time ago, I thought that people who often go to church are the good people and those who do not are the one needs rescuing from sin. I was wrong.

Luke 15:7

I say to you, that there will be so much more joy in heaven over one sinner repenting, than over the ninety-nine just, who do not need to repent.

As I grow up, I saw people suffer. Not because of starvation and not because of illness but because of sentences from their relatives and because of the action was taken by their families to them. The first person that I expected to trust me in my determination in having a better life is my family then my relatives. In the end, the one categories that trusted me more than them is my friends. Including those who do not even know me.

Luke 10:30-33

Then Jesus, taking this up, said: "A certain man descended from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he happened upon robbers, who now also plundered him. And inflicting him with wounds, they went away, leaving him behind, half-alive.

And it happened that a certain priest was descending in the same way. And seeing him, he passed by.

And similarly, a Levite, when he was near the place, also saw him, and he passed by.

But a certain Samaritan, being on a journey, came near him. And seeing him, he was moved by mercy.

Old days.

I do not always have faith. I lost it a few times before. I cursed and I am angry. I also tried to deny God. I am disappointed with my life. I even try to end it but God let me live. I have been rude and willing to be in hell. I thought that I already feel suffering so what is the difference between being in hell?

That is the old days.

It is not too long ago that I realize that I am blessed.

I always have great friends. They are all over the globe.

I have a relative that help me through.

Even though my family often complaint, they still lend a hand when I am in need.

I have a perfect little family.

This is all the beauty within the sufferings I felt. It is because of all this I am happy. I am blessed.

Sometimes, happiness is blinded but I chose to let it shine. Therefore I am thankful to be alive knowing that I have them.

Merry Christmas everyone. May 2021 be a great start for all of us.