Christians: Just fall

The old tree stands strong despite the storm,

Sheltering all creatures tiniest to biggest,

Let it rain,

Let it be sun,

Let it snow,

Whether it is hot or cold,

The old tree stands like nothing can shake it off.

If and only if I can be like the old tree,

Staying strong like nothing capable of pushing me down,

Stopping the tears that I never wish to shed,

I prayed for strength,

I prayed for hope,

To be independent of debts,

In the future, I dreamed of freedom.

It seems to be better.

I was alone raising my daughter for now but it does not feel worse than before. I am not sure of the future we will face.

I asked her, "Is it alright if there might be only baby and mommy in the future?" And she nodded. Sometimes she will say, "I need a daddy"

And I would ask her, "Do you miss daddy?" And she will nod her head slowly.

What am I to answer her each time? Perhaps I should just wait and let things go the way they will be.

He has been with her since the day she was born. He had needs there all the time and I was only able to give half of my time to her from the beginning. I am not as good as him at spending time with her but I hope the memories he had of raising her can lead him to remorse and rebuild his life.

Life has never been easy but it is our choices that decide whether it will be a good one or not. Choose the bad and it will be a rotten life. Choose the good and perhaps we can see a rainbow every day. It's not like we can go back and right every mistake that we made. Life is like a lymphatic pathway that only goes one way without return.

One lymphatic node is removed and everything will change. There might be another chance with MLD but we can never hope so much.

They always that we can only plan quite well for our life but it is God that decides all the things that happen to us. God's planning is always good and this is my belief.

If you ever felt like falling, just fall so you can reach the ground. It is easier to stand again on the ground than in the air.