Are you working?
Office hours?
Shifts?
Overtime?
On call?
I do. I work on office hours from 8 o’clock in the morning until 5 o’clock in the evening but I will leave home around 5.30 in the morning and will reach home around 8.00 at night, depending on the traffic or if I stop by to buy groceries or any other occasions. This is because my workplace are 72 kilometres away from my current home. This is a long story, let this pass first.
It was so easy going to work before I have my little girl. I did not care much if I am a bit late going home from work. Now that I have her, time seem to be always not enough. When I go to work, it is always dark and the same goes for the time that I reach home. She will still be sleeping or already asleep. The only time that I could spend with her is on weekends if I do not have on call or on my holidays.
She is my first born and my only child until now. Sometimes, I am afraid that she might forget all about me while growing up because I do not spend much time with her. She is also too friendly, and it made me jealous sometimes. When I bring her to her clinic visit, I cannot answer the nurse question properly because I do not spend much time with her. I cannot keep track of her growth like any non-working mother does. Other people keep telling me things to do. Is it because that I do not spend much time with her that make them thought I cannot be a good mother? Therefore, they keep telling me what to do and not to do?
It made me stress. I admit, there will be time that my anger was put on her. I am angry that she would not listen to me. I hit her sole of foot with my hand, she id not even cried. She even gave me her other foot to hit. It made me think, she is the only one will be able to understand my feelings. It made me feel guilty. She made me realize that nobody can understand me more than her and nobody can raise my little girl better than me. Whatever other people might say, no matter who they are, I am the mother that I want to be.
A mother who work hard to give a better promising future for my baby girl and my every free time is for her.
It does not matter what other people said, the only important thing is that I know what I want for my daughter. When she grows up, the rest will be up to her. I can never close other people mouth or silence their voice, but I can always do what I do best, without anyone else knowing. It is enough even if she will be the only one that knows everything about me.
Where is my husband? He is here but that will be another story. If I told you everything now, you will not be waiting for my next story if you have enjoyed this one.
It is not easy to become a working mom. I've also experience that with my 2kids. Im leaving home also in 6:00 am . then going home 7:00pm.