If Doctors can Tell it to You Straight, How About Me? How can I Tell it To My Mom?

No:69-05

October 07,2022

" I was trembling as i got the result of my mom's biopsy ... my eyes are blurred and clouded with tears i ko can't see clearly the people in the lobby as i walk away from the receiving section. This can't be real! ".

January of 2015 when i got married . A 2 1/2 year of relationship brought us in an Altar . Prior to that event , i don't have plans to quit my job.

But after 3 months of travelling from the office to our home then in Alabang everyday , i got tired. My office was in Quezon City and travelling to and from the office took me 3 hours everyday. So i resigned and planned to look for a job within the vicinity , a work nearby from our home.

A month just pass by and my elder sister asked me to go home in our province, and so i did. I never thought it would be the start of another journey in my life. Where faith , our faith will be tested so hard.

That was April of the same year when mom told my sister that she felt a lump on her left breast and sometimes it ached. So after a few days they went to a doctor. Upon check up ,mom was referred to a surgeon for further diagnosis. That was the time that i went home and learned that she has a breast lump.

The next day after i arrived , we immediately went to the Surgeon's clinic that was referred to my mom. The doctor immediately scheduled my mom for an operation to take the lump out in her breast. According to him it was quite big already and to avoid further problem it was needed to be remove.

After processing all the necessary documents and different laboratories and various tests , mom was scheduled for an operation at the end of that same month. The lump taken out was as big as an egg already. The operation lasted for a few hours coz there are various small lumps all over her chest and armpit. The doctors made sure that there's nothing left.

I was there with my mom together with my aunt the whole 3 days of her stay in the hospital. I was the one too who brought the specimen to Manila Central University for biopsy. If we want to, the hospital can do it for us but we have to wait much longer for the results , like one or two months as the surgeon said. I don't want to wait that long coz we want to know exactly what to do worse comes to worst or pacify our weary hearts and sleep with no worries after the result.

So after my mom was discharged from the hospital , i went to MCU for biopsy. I was told that i will get the result after two weeks and if there's an unlikely result it will take another week for further testings of the specimen to make sure of the diagnosis . I drop by to my previous office before i went home that day. I was hoping and praying for a good result.

When i went home , i did'nt tell mom that we can get the result of biopsy after two weeks. I don't want her to fear the two weeks waiting period. I was also inform in the doctor's office that if there's no problem with my mom's biopsy then it would be release after the said time but if tberes a diagnosis then it will go beyond the scheduled date. I don't want her to think of the possible results if it goes beyond so i just told her that everything will be fine.

Mom was displaying a positive aura during her recovery period. She loves to garden. After just a few days you would see her in her garden , busy with her orchids and various plants. It's always a nice feeling to see her smile.

Two weeks gone by so quick and i made a call to the lab office following up the result. I was told that it's not available yet. So , i was disheartened coz i know now that the result is not good.

And so i was informed over the phone that the result is available already and i could just get it in releasing section of the lab office. I went ahead without telling my mom that i was heading to get the result of her biopsy. I just told her that i'm going to meet my officemates and have some kumustahan.

While walking in to the lobby , i kept on praying , praying that it won't be that bad. Praying that my mom's condition is curable , praying that we can manage whatever the result it is. I went straight to the releasing section and handed the receipt to the woman on duty and she handed me an envelope after she checked if its the right one then smile at me somehow. I did'nt open it at once. I took a deep breath first before opening it.

I was trembling as i got the result of my mom's biopsy... My eyes are blurred and clouded with tears i can't see clearly the people in the lobby as i walk away from the receiving section . This can't be real!

When i was on the ground level i looked for a place that i could seat. I saw a big tree encircled by a cemented structure and seated there for i don't know how long , crying... sobbing .... I let everything out by crying and i don't care about the students and people around looking at me . I just cry , cry and cry and cry.

After collecting myself , i get up and went to a mall. I called up my aunt and asked her to meet me there. Upon seeing my mom's sister we hugged each other tight and i was sobbing again , we both cried so hard. I told her that mom has Stage 3b breast cancer and it was already metastasized meaning spread in her other body organs to which we have to find out soon by series of testing again. We found out later that she has lump already in her lungs and liver , upgrading the stage of her cancer to Stage 1V-B .

I was wondering how doctor's get all the couraged to tell their patients the bad news as if it's just a clogged radiator of a car that needs to be cleanse then will work great again after cleaning.

I was so numb i don't know how to tell mom the bad news without breaking out myself. So my aunt accompanied me in going home and geez! believe me it was the most terrible thing you could ever tell to your love one. The most heartbreaking story you could ever tell. Telling your mom that she only has a little time to live.

We told her we are going to fight for her life , and she sob too hugging her didn't seem enough to comfort her. My youngest sister whose working as an OFW in Japan that time promised to do her best to sustain mom's medication. We all did our best , we fought the battle hand in hand , we are all wounded during those 1 and 5 months of war against cancer but we lose , we lost our mom.

And now it was 16 years after the battle , the wound is now a scar. We may be wounded but realized in the end that we never lose mom at all coz she will always be in our Hearts in eternity. We are more way stronger than before , ready to face whatever battle that this world may we stumble. Life must go on ...

Thank you for your precious time always!

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Lead image from Unsplash.

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