Best Friend

The house feels empty.

There is not a moment I would not cry every time I see your spot in the house and remember how you sleep there. My heart is aching so much, I am missing you so much. My mind is battling with my heart if I did the right decision of letting you go. I thought I was ready to see you go, but my heart shattered a million pieces as I saw the vehicle running away from where I was standing. I cannot stand the sight of seeing you going away that’s why I turned my back because I might beg to let you stay. But I let you go. Because it seemed like I don’t know you anymore. The times you have hurt me and my family are enough reasons to set you free but I am in so much pain right now. Maybe because I thought I was ready, but truth is I am not. You mean so much to me but my fear for me and my family’s safety got bigger and bigger every time. Everything happened so suddenly and I feel like I did not say my goodbyes to you properly even though I know in my heart it will eventually gonna happen, that I have to let you go.

But I love you so much. I hope you know that. I hope you will not forget about me wherever you might be. You will always be special to me, you will always be a friend and a family. I will cherish all my memories with you, even the bad ones. I keep thinking about you even when I don't want to because the more I do, the more I get sad. I keep thinking if you are happy, or if you are crying, if you are looking for me. I keep worrying if you are sleeping and eating alright. But I want to believe that you are, my heart is telling me not to worry but I just can't help it sometimes. I miss you so much. I miss you when I eat because you always just sit there and watch me eat. I miss you when I wake up, because you always greet me happily every day. I miss how loud you are. I miss your voice, and I miss it every time you whine if you want something. I miss you when I’m alone and I miss you even when I am busy. And above all of this, I miss how you look at me, sweetly and smiling like we own the world. I remember when I used to sing to make you sleep, with you in my arms. I still remember the day you came into my life and I fell in love with you in a second. I miss everything about you.

 To you my dear one,

Please don’t forget about me. If ever a day will come that we cross paths again, I hope you run to me happily and hug me. Because I will not forget about you even when we’re no longer together. I will remember you every day and for the rest of my life. You are my forever baby. I hope you be in a healthier environment and I hope you not get sick and be lonely. I want you to be happy every day and for the rest of your life. I am sorry that we have to let you go, but I want to think that this is the best for everyone, including you. You will not be replaced, even after everything, you’re still the best for me. Thank you for all the happiness you have given me. Thank you for the times you made me feel secured and protected. Thank you because sometime in my life, you came and we had you. As much as I want you to stay with me forever, I know that it might not be possible anymore. I am sorry once again, for I think we also have our share of fault for everything that has happened. I know we have shortcomings and I feel terribly sorry for that. How I wish you came when we are perfectly ready and the time is right. I will forever be sorry and at the same time, grateful. I love you.

And goodbye.

Hi. This article is something personal because I don't feel okay at the moment. I wrote this because I feel like I have to get this off my chest. I need to. I can't do what I have to do because I keep on thinking and worrying about it. But I hope I feel better soon and be able accept everything with all my heart without regrets. To all of you who feel burdened in their life right now, I hope you be strong. We can do this.

Thank you for reading.