The way we live life depends on our own vision of how we see things around us. What for someone is a serious problem, under their own vision in relation to the solution of their problem, for others it becomes a simple obstacle.
Trying to get people to change certain details of their lives in order to direct their energies to solve a conflict that to someone doesn’t matter is simply frustrating. Everyone has a personal vision at home, in their family or at work that is part of their own reality. The way we have our own feeling of mastering the obstacles that come our way is the way we face the reality of the moment.
We get upset with friends and family because we think that they are not able to master a problem that we see very clearly. But have you ever thought that you also have unresolved problems? Have you ever stopped to think that you also have some conflicts that you have not been able to face? So because you think you can solve the problem of others you have not been able to solve your own personal situation?
We are people who like to think that other people's complex personal conflicts are easier to solve than our own.
Everyone can have the necessary tools to solve their own personal conflicts in the best and fastest way, but it will always be from their own point of view, with their own time, with their own style.
Personally I think that when a person asks for advice it’s a good time to give it, but if on the contrary he does not ask for anything from anyone it is better not to get involved because that can hurt his susceptibility and make him believe that we think that he is not doing what he should be doing.
Each individual has special moments that are difficult to handle. They can be seen in a very particular way by other people and make them think that it’s the same thing that is happening to you or that happened to you. But it’s the particular details surrounding the individual's moment of life that make it different. There are details that we do not usually comment on because it either means telling personal moments or it means telling too much of our life, so that the conflict that we are unable to resolve is seen objectively.
The best thing we can do when faced with mishaps that worry our family or friends is to ingratiate ourselves with them. Let them understand that their problems affect us and that we want to help in some way. Let these people in conflict know that they have our moral support.
As long as they don’t want us to get involved in their conflict and give wrong opinions about possible solutions, it’s better to just give moral support and let the person in question know that they are not alone.
Sometimes we help more with a shared silence than with a misspoken word. When we feel susceptible due to internal conflicts, words can be taken in an offensive way and not in the way we want them to be interpreted.
Life has a myriad of different ways to show us the same problem but with multiple ways to solve it depending on our very personal optics of life.
This doesn’t mean that when a person has lived in too many conflicts he/she has better ways of directing the lives of others. It just means that the person has acquired many tools to have enough experience to handle their own personal issues.
It’s impressive how sometimes we see people give their opinion about the complicated life that some people lead. It happens that from a third person's point of view, the person's own life who gives a harsh judgment against others is usually a person with a more troubled life and he/she does not notice it.
Sometimes there are people who want to advise others but end up imposing themselves. The second person questioned may say that the personal situation of the first person who gives advice is worse. And if the thought of receiving advice that he/she did not ask for plus the knowledge that this person has more conflicts than he/she is aware of, the relationship is disturbed. There is a confrontation of something that could have been avoided by trying to meddle in something that they should not.
Let us not try to solve the life or problems of others if we are not invited to do so. Let us try to live life as well as possible without prejudices, without dictates about other people that may offend and thus we will have a better quality of life for ourselves.
Let others solve their own problem. I usually don't get involve with others problem. Even if they confide to me. I just give advice but never exceeds the limit of entering there privacy.