I feel the need to write about a subject that I don't know how much you are interested in, but I feel it is important to give my point of view.
I have read with much concern in many articles that people become so depressed that they can even reach the point of wanting to attempt against their own life. I will not say that this idea never occurred to me when I was young but it was not something that dominated my thoughts.
When I was young I once felt so trapped by circumstances that the thought of lightening my burdens came to mind. Let me say that from a very young age I had to work very hard for my ideals. Although I had my parents with me I could only count on the moral support of my mother because I could not count on the material support of my father, who was the one who supported most of the burden of the home.
I decided at the age of 14 that I had to study a quick and easy career in order to become independent from home. So I did. From a very young age I fought very hard to achieve my goals and I achieved them all. But at some point I made mistakes that I could not solve and I got frustrated. I had no one to turn to to help me lighten my mental burdens.
In those moments so strong because of the great weight of my negative thoughts I thought of alleviating my frustrating situation by ending my life. But you know what, I'm not that brave. Maybe some people think that suicide is an attitude of cowards but I think that in those moments the frustration that invaded my life was not so great as to have enough strength to end my life. I couldn't, that's why I think that someone who takes his own life or thinks about doing it has to know that he must be very brave because he must have so much courage to face a process of destruction against his life.
No, I couldn't. I saw everything in front of me. I saw my mother's pain, I saw my classmates repudiating the fact of my bad decision. I saw how it would end my life and with that it ended everything... and wasn't that what I was looking for... no, I just wanted to get out of trouble but I didn't want to end the good memories I treasured. Nor did I want to end my dreams of achieving goals.
That was the last time I thought about ending my life, at the age of 16. Little by little I kept facing the problems, the responsibilities grew, more and more. I always managed to get out of them all but there were more and more. I read so many articles to get the right tools to learn how to get out of it but it was all very complex.
And the best I could decide is what served me for the rest of my life. But I found out many, many years later. I had to let everything flow. Enjoy the good times and the little moments and let the bad decisions take their course, doing everything in my power to fix things and what was out of my power to let it run its course until it reached its spontaneous resolution.
Over the years I kept reading and appropriating ideas and advice from experienced people who recommended this and that. I took what worked for me and let go of what did not work for me according to my point of view. But what helped me the most to become what I am today was reading The Word. In the bible I found all the advice I was looking for all my life.
Gratitude, forgiveness, respect, tolerance, effort to achieve goals, discipline to organize priorities, sharing, acceptance of what happens, fortitude, discernment, and above all love, thinking positive even though everything is negative has led me to be the woman I am with more character and with ever renewed strength.
At my 60 years of age I am starting with new goals and they are developing with the rhythm that gives the significant occasion that we live in today. I am not defeated by obstacles, I am not intimidated by mistakes, I am not trampled by those who want to, but by those who can, and to the latter I also give my best battle.
I am back and I bring you my best experiences of the long life that God has given me.
so you had that phase too OnO i always thought you were a strong carefree woman but even you got that phase too