Do you want to change the world?
Greetings to all my readers. I always get a topic for reflection by listening or looking around and today I’ll tell you about a theme that I have been hearing repeatedly. There is something that I hear or later, in the quiet of night, it returns to my thoughts just as ruminants return their food to digest it better, I return to these thoughts to process them better.
As the years go by, we live similar situations but we give them a different projection. Today I was attracted to the subject of how some people get married or establish a relationship with the firm thought that they will be able to change their partner's way of being by having him or her around and explaining to him or her why he or she should change a habit.
We spend a lot of time in our lives trying to change things we don't like about him or her. That brings in the long run many arguments and when it becomes too difficult then we proceed to the imposition of the power that we have at that moment over the other individual.
Or is it a mistake to want to change people? and a much bigger one when we want them to be like us? There is so much richness in the diversity of thought, of ideas, of attitudes and we do not manage to see it because of the imposition of our decision.
I have met people in my life who have wanted to change the world because they believe and are sure that their way of being is ideal. They believe that if the world were like them, everything would be better.
I spent many years of my life trying to be like that and then I understood my mistake. Now I just think that trying to change a person's way of being or doing things is totally frustrating and a waste of time.
Nobody changes their attitude if they don't really want to, especially if they feel good about themselves. If they do change their attitude in a forced way, that is, they don’t want to change and we forced it on them, then we should expect two things.
The first thing that can happen is that they may do it just to please us. It may be that they’re simply faking it just so we don't have to hear about it anymore, but in these cases it’s only a matter of time before, for whatever reason, the person explodes like a ticking time bomb and then everything will be worse.
The second thing that can happen is that he or she changes because he/she truly found peace of mind and satisfaction in doing so.
Remember that nobody truly changes his way of being by obligation but by conviction. Except for pathological cases, which is another topic I will not touch on.
The changes in our way of being, of acting, of relating to others comes from within. We must feel the renewal from our mind and heart to make sure that we have changed for the better. No change made with manipulation, pressure or obligation will be for good or forever.
Let's find the best way to live to be at peace first with ourselves and then to be in accord with the rest of the world, with neighbors, friends, partners and children.
Always remember this, if you want to change the behavior of someone who bothers you first try to change from yourself and it will be easier to live. Because you will be happier without trying to modify others in their lifestyles but it will be easier for you to adapt to others and try to live in peace.
May you have a happy life.
It is always good to think and rethink things, to have everything in total clarity. The world will be so good or so bad according to each person's point of view, I think we should not generalize that everything is right or everything is wrong, maybe it could be better with one person's idea if sure, but maybe his other ideas are not right.
In order not to dive into the deep end and go off topic.... It is good ourselves to accept our mistakes and want to change them, it is something extremely difficult, sometimes we do not realize that we make a mistake until someone does not say them, but perhaps we do not see it as something bad and we continue in that mistake, it will depend on us and the passage of time if we continue to make that mistake or change it.
You are very right that instead of changing someone, change yourself first, we should put ourselves in the shoes of that person and try to know how he feels if we say negative things about him, sometimes we just try to help, but we can make things worse if we do not say it properly.
Thank you very much for this wonderful article