Why "good vibes only" is sometimes NOT a good thing?

"Toxic positivity rejects people the factual assistance that they need to confront with what they are dealing with."

Toxic positivity is the conviction that people should keep a positive outlook, regardless of how dire or complicated a situation is. The approach to life is a "good vibes only" While optimism and positive thinking have advantages, toxic positivity avoids harsh feelings instead in favor of a cheerful, often falsely good facade.

We all know that it would be a good thing to have a positive outlook on life. The challenge is, life is not always healthy. Emotions and interactions are traumatic for everyone.

And those feelings are necessary and need to be felt and dealt with freely and honestly, though sometimes uncomfortable and difficult to deal with.

Toxic positivity contributes to over-generalized thought. This approach does not only underline the value of optimism but minimizes and negates all signs of human feelings that are neither purely happy nor optimistic.

Toxic positivity can take a deep variety of aspects.

• If something goes wrong, such as losing your job, you are told "just stay positive" and "look on the bright side." While these comments are always intended to be supportive, they may often be a way of closing down something you might want to say about what you are undergoing.

• Following some kinds of losses, people would tell you that "all happens for a reason." While people also make such claims because they feel that they are safe, it is often a way to prevent suffering from others.

• Somebody tells you, when you show disappointment or sorrow, that 'happiness is an option.' That means, if you experience negativity it is your choice and your fault not to 'choose' to be happy.

Such comments have always been well-meant – people don't know what else to say and can't be empathic, but they are harmful. These statements are at their best platitudes that encourage you to leave the rope so that you don't have to deal with the emotions of other people.

These comments finally shame and blame people who also encounter unbelievably tough circumstances with their worst case.

Toxic positivity can damage people who are going through tough times. Rather than being able to share substantial human feelings and acquire absolute assistance, people find their feelings rejected, ignored, or outright offset. 

• If someone has suffered, he must know that his feelings are valid, but that in his friends and family he will find comfort and love. Yet toxic positivity tells people that they have misunderstood feelings.

• It sends a message that you do nothing wrong if you do not find a way to feel optimistic, even while suffering.

• Toxic positive acts as a tool for avoidance. It helps others to escape emotional circumstances that may make them feel uneasy when participating in this kind of action. However, we also turn on ourselves these same ideas and internalize these poisonous ideas. We underestimate, ignore and reject it when we experience challenging emotions.

• It helps us to prevent feelings that may be unpleasant, but it also prevents us the ability to address uncomfortable feelings that may eventually lead to improvement and deeper insight.

In the light of the global COVID-19 pandemic, the "positive vibes only" mantra has become particularly gritty to many. During the pandemic, people were met with the disease, lockdowns, orders to take refuge, shutdowns, home labor, household issues, work losses, and financial hardships.

People are not only under pressure to remain productive and optimistic during a period that is challenging and stressful on several levels, as well as with major life disturbances.

Despite challenging encounters and difficulties, motivation can be achieved. But trauma may not have to be said to remain optimistic or to believe they are judged not to have a pleasant view.

Toxic positivity can often be modest, but realizing to accept the signs can help you better identify this type of behavior.

• Tackling rather than coping with issues.

• Being sad, frustrated, and disappointed, feel guilty.

• Hiding the real feelings behind socially acceptable quotations.

• Show or hide your emotions.

• Minimizing the emotions of someone because they make you unpleasant.

• If you do not have a good outlook, blame others.

• Try to get over stressful feelings or to be stoic.

If you’ve been affected by toxic positivity, there are things that you can do to improve in a healthier, more validating manner.

• Manage, but don't deny the negative feelings. Negative feelings can trigger stress rampant, but they can also provide useful information to support your life.

• See if you might feel realistic. It is natural to feel anxious, worried, or even scared when facing a stressful situation. Don't wait for yourself too long. Concentrate on self-care and take action to change the condition.

• It's all right to feel over one thing. If you are faced with a challenge, you can be anxious and optimistic about the future. The situation itself is as confusing as your thoughts.

• Concentrate on listening and helping others. Don't shut them down with poisonous platitudes if someone shows a challenging emotion. Let them know instead that what they feel is natural and that you listen.

• Notice how you feel. How you believe. Often "positive" social media accounts can be an inspiration, but be careful how you feel after you see and engage with such posts. It may be attributed to toxic positivity if you are left with a feeling of shame or guilt after seeing "revival" videos. Consider reducing the use of social media in such situations.

Enable yourself the sensations to be felt. Enable yourself to feel them, rather than attempt to suppress painful feelings. These are real, legitimate, and significant feelings. They can give information and allow you to see things that need to be improved.

This doesn't inherently mean that any emotion you experience should be acted on. Often, before taking action, it is necessary to sit down and allow yourself time and room to process the situation.

Think about ways to give the expression of your feelings constructively when you are experiencing something rough. Speak to a friend. Research suggests that placing what you feel in words will help minimize the strength of the negative feelings.

Toxic positivity is always subtle, and at some point, we have all accepted this kind of thought. But you can easily get rid of this sort of thought by learning to identify it and provide more authentic help when something is not easy.

Start to note toxic declarations and aim to make yourself and others experience optimistic and negative emotions.