Have you ever been betrayed?
It's a question that has plagued me for years. When I was young, I would ask my mom why people betrayed each other. She just looked at me and said, "They're not always nice."
I'm not sure if she was trying to comfort me or if she was just trying to give me some kind of answer, but it didn't really matter. What mattered was that I couldn't understand how people could betray each other. It seemed like such a mean thing to do—to hurt someone else when they were already hurting enough.
As I grew older, the question changed: "Have you ever been betrayed?" Now, instead of asking my mother, I would ask myself the same question over and over again in different ways until eventually it started feeling like an answer even my brain couldn't find.
I'd ask myself if there was a point in my life where I had been betrayed. When? Where? Who? How did they betray me? How did they betray themselves?
I'd ask myself if there was anything I could have done differently that would have made it different. What could I have done differently when someone betrayed me? What could I do differently when someone betrayed themselves?
I'd ask myself if there was anything else I needed to know about betrayal—if there was any more knowledge or information on the subject that would help me understand this situation better. Why does betrayal hurt so much? How do people deal with betrayal in their lives?
And then sometimes (though not always), I'd just sit there for hours, thinking about betrayal and trying to understand what it meant for both sides: why someone would choose to betray another person.
The way betrayal feels is hard for anyone to describe because everyone experiences it differently. But there are some common themes: betrayal destroys trust and confidence; it hurts your heart; it makes you feel like nothing matters anymore; it changes how you see yourself or others around you; it makes everything seem fake or unreal.
I don't know if we feel like we're alone in our experiences with betrayal. But I do know that it's something that can happen to anyone at any time—even people who are trusted and loved by their friends and family members. Even people who have never done anything wrong in their lives can find themselves betrayed by someone who does.
The experience of betrayal could be the most painful thing you've ever experienced, but it doesn't have to stop there. You can get back up again and learn from this experience, so that next time it won't hurt as much and you can understand where the other person was coming from better than before they let you down (and maybe even forgive them).
You are not alone in your experience with betrayal; there are millions of people out there who have gone through this exact same thing or something similar. Don't let yourself be defined by this one moment of weakness!
Sometimes betrayal is part of a cycle: one person does something that hurts another person, who then feels hurt and angry, which makes them act in ways that hurt others. And so on…
But sometimes betrayal is more direct, like when someone says "I'm leaving" without telling anyone else first. They won't give a reason for leaving or even explain why they're leaving; they'll just leave! And that can really hurt! You might feel confused or scared about where this person will go next—and maybe even angry at them for leaving without an explanation or warning.
But remember: there are times when people just need space apart from each other and need some time to figure things out on their own before they decide whether they want to stay together again.