A practical guide on how to loose all your money in crypto

Tuesday, 19th of April 2022

I am pretty sure that everyone’s dream is to loose as much money as fast as possible in crypto. To help you with this difficult task, I decided to come up with this practical guide on how to do this very well. All learned by experience of course.

Invest without DYOR

Everyone talks about Doing Your Own Research before investing. But why would you listen to them? They keep repeating this phrase just cause they’re jealous of how good you are at loosing your money! They don’t wish you well, don’t listen!

Invest the money you can not afford to loose!

How many times have you heard the advice to only invest what you could afford to loose? Well, bollocks to it! Have you read my article 12.5 BCH earned in December? No? Go have a look. That’s basically how you become over confident and go down the slippery road of credit card debts and worse (read on). Your portfolio value increased by $5000 in just one month? Well, you’re a genius and an expert in crypto! Now you’re cocky enough to think that if you take another $3000 from your credit cards, you can 2x fast and return the capital back to your bank safely by the end of the month! You will cry later, but who cares? You’re on the roll!

Don’t take profits!

How amazing is it to see your 1 BCH magically transformed into 4 BCH? You basically 4x on your investment. Carry on dreaming! It will go higher! Why would you take any profits? That’s for those who want to earn money, not loose money. Check back a while later and your 4 BCH melted into 1.5 BCH. Well, who would sell now? It was 4 BCH before, so it can go back there. Just continue compounding and see it melt into 0.5 BCH. Now that’s a great success! Who wants 400% gain, when you can achieve 50% loss?

When everyone is selling diamond hand that shit

You know that feeling when you look at your investment and it’s already at 50% loss? Well, now you certainly can’t sell it at the loss in this bear market you know. How much worse can it go? We’re sure at the bottom of the bottoms. Diamond hand it still! If you keep it there maybe the team will leave SmartBCH and you can loose it all!

FOMO into new projects just because your peers are investing

Imagine this for a moment. You already lost so much that you can’t return the the money you took from you CC’s back and bills are pilling up. Many of your friends and gaming guilds have started to invest in a new P2E game. The earnings look amazing… too good to be true or sustainable. Here is your green light! Sell the most valuable assets that you hold and don’t send it to your bank to pay the debts. Bridge 1 BCH after another into this new dreamy game, because your eyes already took a shape of $$$ you’ll be earning if you invest another $2000. What next? Nothing. Just wait for the future updates of developers of that game and see your money melt in no time. Now nobody even wants to rent you brilliant assets, because earnings are in pennies, so you’ll be wasting hours for months or years to come in hope of ROI. I mean, time is money, if you can’t loose more money, you can still loose time.

Trade P2E earning tokens

Everyone knows these are very volatile. People buy and sell these daily, so there are nice waves to capitalise on. You’ll be earning well while the waves go up and down. But what if what you invested is already at more than 20% loss? Don’t sell. Wait and dream for it to go back. Throw some more in. Watch it go down another 20%. Not enough loss? Throw some more. There are no more waves, just a downward line, but keep buying. More updates will come to help you loose some more!

Never trust your gut!

I mean, why would you? It’s not like your gut is designed to warn you about incoming danger. It’s not like it kept you alive and well throughout your life. You see your money melting and get a hunch to sell? Nahh, ignore it. You can loose more. You feel like the project owners act without integrity and most people are already leaving at a loss? Nahh, keep going. They were nice to you once or twice, so you can trust them with your money. Ignore the gut feeling! It only wants to keep you safe.

Take your friends money and loose it all!

You know what is great about telling your friends and peers about your success in crypto? They admire you, trust you and also want to earn some money. So they ask and ask if you can invest their money too. You refuse, because you’re still learning and are not comfortable with loosing someone else’s money. But then you update your portfolio and see that you’re doing SO well. Why not help your friends to save money for the house deposit? So you say yes and take their $1000’s. Then you spend weeks together admiring beautiful NFT’s you minted or bought highly overpriced in hope for 150% APR. It feels nice to be a baby whale for a moment.

Rest assured you won’t feel like this for long. The war will start, the bear market will come, some projects will be delayed, other projects will fail, TG groups will disappear, project owners will give you 10% instead of promised 150% and then threaten to leave the chain. Don’t you worry… you can still loose it all if you follow this precious guide I created for you all.

Invest in rug pulls

Well, surprisingly I can’t really advise you further on this one, because somehow I managed to avoid all the obvious rug pulls SmartBCH community have experienced. Although I lost 1000’s of $ by investing in various projects, none of them I’d consider as a typical, malicious rug pull, where the creator of a project acts with a purpose of scamming people. Down the grapevine I have heard it’s a great way of loosing more money though!

In case you are wondering… Yes, I am being utterly sarcastic in this article. Do not take any of this as a financial advice. Do not follow my steps, unless you really love loosing money and the crippling feeling of anxiety that comes with it.

I talked to a wise and well respected men in SmartBCH community, who has also been a crypto investor for many years. He was wondering how am I doing, as I wasn’t around lately. After a little encouragement I confessed to him all the mistakes I’ve made and just how much I’ve lost and how. He told me to have no regrets, but take all the lessons I’ve learned and move on.

After this chat I finally braved to update my portfolio and face the brutal truth. My current loss is well over $7000. So yeah… don’t be like me and please please learn from my mistakes.

Until next time 💙