a letter for my self

June 9, 2022

My ever dearest self?

It's been a long time since the last time I checked on your situation about yourself. Most of the time, you are very busy making sure that everything is okay for your family, relatives, and friends, but still this time I want to ask you, are you okay?

Do you have time for yourself?

When was the last time you did something for yourself and finds contentment?

Do you still laugh innocently?

Do you still find time to be in the bookstore and spare hours to find a very interesting one to read?

When was the last time that you watch a movie and share the stories with your friends?

What is the genre of music you usually listen to?

Do you still have friends and spare time with them that you always wanted to do before?

When was the last time you are with your cousins and talk about your childhood memories?

Do you still hide your heartaches and never share your tears?

Do you still dream for the future?

Do you have time to pray and talk to God innocently like a child who misses her father desperately?

I can still remember those times when you usually spend time walking and enjoying it and never worry about time, find the contentment in writing letters to share your thoughts about them.

I can barely remember that you are not the kind of person who mostly laughs but there are times that you innocently laugh with your friends about silly things in life and forget the real world for the moment and never mind how people will think about you.

Those times that you spare hours just to find a book that you will spend time reading, on how you desperately to make a collection of books of your favorite authors like Dan Brown, Nicolas Sparks , Sidney Sheldon. Adrea Kane, Barbara Wood, and those series of inspirational books like Chicken soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield, and Mark Victor Hansen, because for you reading is just like traveling to a different kind of life from others.

You are very excited to tell your friend about the latest Korean series of movies that you watched how the Flower of evil made you sleepless for days, War of the Son inspire you, and how you adore Lee Min hoo as an actor, Kathniel made you fall in love over and over again.

Acoustic music like Boyce Avenue set your mood, and Don Moen set your soul to be at peace.

Most of the time you are very busy making the most of the life that you had but when you feel that you need to talk to someone even if it cost you hours of traveling you will find time to be with them and catch up on your life with them.

The first circle of friends that you had is your cousins whom you dearly share the best memories of your childhood on how excited you are when you knew that they were coming for a few days and broke your heart every time they will bid goodbyes. I know this pandemic changed the yearly reunion with them will affect you definitely because they were part of your life.

When you are alone and you are very emotional silently your tears fall and make sure that no one will ever see you because you see yourself in that situation make you so weak, but for you, it is one way to ease the pain that you hide inside. Most people think that you are a very tough one but deeply you are just pieces of disappointment in life.

Dreaming was never in your mind for you whatever comes and you find excitement on how life will make you for the future because you once dream but it broke you apart from the real world.

Remember those times that you always talk and pray anything to God because for you He will be your strength and have faith that all those impossible things that you want in life He is the only one who can make it possible and also in times of danger He always saves you as his only child.

I really hope that you are okay, deep inside of you I know silently you will whisper that everything will be okay. Those times that you will feel that you are not okay please remember those things I wrote above for you to be definitely okay.

Sincerely yours,

Eve