Being a housewife and at the same time, a stay at home Mom without a maid nor a helper is really stressing. Let us all be honest with the fact that, yes, being married and having kids are one of happiest moments of our lives yet we cannot hide the fact that we tend to tell ourselves 'I'm tired and I badly needed a rest" while reminiscing all the things we used to do and enjoy.
If you see a Mother in social media posting some pictures of her outside all by herself, be able to work out, having a decent meal and being able to go to spas and salons. Believe me, that Mother has a village!
How about us who are less privilege having no back up? Its far different, It is not the same as the situation of the fortunate ones, only the moment when our kids are at deep slumber, that's the only time we get to have time, alone. But, instead of resting and getting some fresh air, we are going to take that opportunity to do some chores. In short, we have no time for ourselves.
It is so fulfilling to be a mother. The joy that the kids bring are priceless. The smiles they flashes melt our hearts and gives us motivation and hope. It is something a mother will not trade for something. However, even if we tend to enjoy taking care of the kids 24/7, it doesn't mean that we are deprived on having a good sleep. Even if we made parenting easy, it doesn't imply that we do not have our own needs. We are separate individuals. We have our own needs also. We need our own time.
This is the saddest thing about being a Mom. You are married, but you are raising your kids alone. From the moment you wake up, up to the moment you'll about to take a sleep, it always MOM. A break is erased from a mother's vocabulary, meaning there is no break at all. When times you wanted to go out, you have no choice but to take the kids with you. You wanted to go out alone but you can't, because of guilt. There's something at the back of her head saying that if you leave them alone and unattended, it would be a disaster and a complete negligence of a mom's duty.
Married but raising the kids alone is completely one sided. That's even worse than being a single parent. Atleast if you're a single parent, you knew that you're in this situation, alone. But if you're married, you expect that it should be the two of you, you and your husband. But why are you doing it all by yourself?
Mothers need time for themselves, too. We enjoy motherhood, that's 101% accurate. But being stuck in a situation where you have no time looking for youself and giving yourself peace, that's completely unfair and unjust.
A mother and a father should be equal when raising the kids. They have both responsibility to the children. I'm aware to the fact that a mother carries the child on her womb for nine months but the father carries his child on her mind lifelong. Then, it is about cooperation. It shouldn't end as an argument to whom the child should be comforted to. But most cases that I sees and I observes, it is always the mother who needed to take care of the child, because as to the norms, it is a Mom's duty to look for their children. If the mother is tired and badly needed a rest, then it should be the time for the father to take over and vice versa. You as a parent shouldn't choose your time on taking your part, you shouldn't look after your kid only when you are convenient. Do your part as a parent.
We don't need to constantly remind dads that its your time. Be sensitive to your wife's needs. Be sensitive to her emotions. Look at her, does she still blooms? Does she have still energy? Does she need time to sleep? Is she tired?
Yes, Mom is tired, really really tired.
She's screaming inside,
"I'm tired! I wanted to be alone! I wanted to unwind! I needed a time out. I'm tired! Help me"
These are things you cannot hear coming out from her mouth but a Mother Silent Scream are her tears.
