The young me: Who's Santa Claus?

A few more days to go and it's Christmas! Are you excited about this upcoming holiday? Me, I am excited not for myself but my, kiddos. And as the day passes by some memories kept on coming, seems like they wanted me to feel nostalgia all the time.

While thinking about what to buy the kids as their gifts, I remember my younger me who is making a wishlist for Santa.

Just like any other kids before, I truly believed Santa Claus does exist, and he's watching over me and will listen to my wishes for Christmas.

I guess, you also believed even just for once about his existence, that he is true and real. Well, he is somewhat as true as Saint Nicholas but what I mean is, we as kids, acknowledged that he is the one who gives us presents every Christmas day.

I remember how my father always reminded me to be good the whole year or even just for December so I will receive a present from Santa Claus. Every time we went to attend a mass, he kept on telling me that Santa was there, always listening to my wishes.

And me, I believed every word my father told me.

In every Christmas season before Christmas day arrives, on the night of the 24th of December, my father told us to obtain a bag, a pouch, or a huge plastic so Santa could leave a present inside.

My older brother and I always compete about our plastic bags. Both of us will get large to extra large plastic bags believing Santa Claus will fill them with gifts. Me, I always put my plastic bag either near the window or near the door so my plastic bag will be the first one be filled by Santa.

And when we wake up in the morning, we will run towards our specific pouches to see if Santa did put some presents, and he never failed us.

In each year, I am always looking forward to the Christmas season, the younger version of me was always excited about what Santa would give me that year.

You know, as a kid, to tell you honestly, I truly believed the one who gives us a present was their so-called “Santa Claus”. And for years, I never doubted that he wasn't real. Because all I know before was, there was a Santa Claus every Christmas.

The gifts I received annually, were usually chocolates, chips, cookies or biscuits, one piece of a new toy, and a new blouse or shorts. Typically, those I mentioned above were the gifts I remember. Then, each Christmas season, my Aunt will also hand us all (her niece and nephews) gifts from Santa Claus too. She also claimed to us that Santa Claus passed by at their house and left gifts for all of us.

Then my innocence was tainted by my brother, he kept telling me that Santa Claus wasn't real. He insisted that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

I and my innocent heart were saddened by what he said, but I became curious. Who could be Santa Claus?

As I had an idea that Santa Claus wasn't true based on my brother's conclusion, out of curiosity, I started my investigation and desire to catch whoever the Santa Claus I used to believe in could be.

In each new Christmas that passed by, I was always ready to wake up before midnight before December 24 ended. As I wanted to catch who could be Santa Claus, but it was always a mission that failed since I couldn't fight with my sleepiness before. 😅

Then I decided to change the plan for the next year. I was like a little investigator those times, as I was entirely curious who could our Santa Claus could be.

Then the new year came and another Christmas was upcoming, I decide to search the house a week before Christmas. If Santa Claus could be my Father, probably he would buy the presents earlier before Christmas day comes.

Since there were only three of us (my dad, brother, and I) in the house, my only suspicion was my father. Maybe what my classmates and other friends told me was true, that Santa Claus is no other than our parents. But to give me a valid verdict, I wanted to see it myself.

It was two days before Christmas day, my father went to the market and my brother was in the computer shop at that time and I was left alone at home. My eagerness to discover the whole truth brought me to my father's bedroom and I started my search operation.

My heart was beating like drums, and I was feeling excited and could feel butterflies in my stomach, that's weird.

I first searched in the drawers, cabinets, storage boxes, bags, but I found nothing. I was hopeless and took my steps towards the door when I remember I forgot a certain place to search at.

I and my curious sense lead me towards under my father's bed. And to my surprise, I saw two huge plastics full of snacks, toys, and garments. As I saw it, I wanted to open it but I am afraid I might catch by my father so I immediately left.

Even though I discovered that my father was oir Santa Claus, I pretended not to know anything. But the excitement I had before I knew it, has a big difference.

My suspicions were real, of all those years, I truly believed that Santa Claus was true. I felt funny but at the same time, I was grateful for the emotions of excitement it gave me for many years. Those feelings will forever remain pure and innocent, and I am thankful my father let me experience them.

Until today, I never told my father that I discovered the gifts under his bed. I just left it in my memory lane.

Now that I am also a parent, I also applied it to my kids. I told them about Santa Claus, about the presents they could get on Christmas for being good. I wanted them to feel the excitement I used to cherish before as a kid.

Just like what my father did before, I and my husband are trying our best to hide the gifts we bought for them so we couldn't be busted. 🤣

I know, soon when they'll grow up into young adults they will know our secret being their Santa Claus. But for now, we will let them enjoy the joy of being a kid. We will make each Christmas fascinating for them too. That isn't too much compared to the happiness they'll have.

How about you guys? Do you also have stories to tell about your childhood, Santa Claus?

Oh, I would love to read them too! 💚

No doubt, the experience we had with the Santa Claus we used to admire as kids are one of the best fun memories of our past Christmas. Today, as we turned into adults, we slowly become somebody' Santa Claus too and that's how the traditional cycle is. And I believe this will continue until someone believes in Santa Claus' presence.

Thanks for reading!

Written by: @eommaZel 🥀✍🏻