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In this world, you can not please everyone you meet. You can't force them to love you back, you can't make them like you even you have most of the characteristics you believed are the best. People have their tastes when it comes in terms of love and friendship. Everyone has the freedom to choose, you do have the freedom to choose the life that you want, it just depends on you. I do believe in luck and lucky charms, but it won't lead you directly to the path that you want. It only gives you hope and faith about something that doesn't happen yet.
We will meet people and some of them may not like us for who we are. In my 25 years of existence, I'm just an ordinary girl who lived in the province, by the time I turned 18 I started to work in the city and my family was left in the countryside. I've met people who became my friends and let me experience the world that I want. But never in my thought that one of them will just use my innocence with bad intentions.
I admit I'm so vulnerable at that age, I accept everyone I met wholeheartedly with open arms. Without thinking of their real intentions, I just want to be good, be kind and be friendly. But honestly, it's one of the worst things that I've done in my life. I was wrong when I allowed them to enter my life, they ruined my trust in them. But later on in life, I realized it was my fault. It's my fault why it happened. Now, I acknowledged that my worst enemy is myself. For letting people treat me the way which I don't deserve. I'm not courageous enough to speak for myself that I just let them use me.
I let self-doubt ate me up that I've developed trust issues with myself. I doubted myself for the things that I can and can't do. I'm full of what-ifs and have worried about the things that didn't happen yet. I'm too judgemental of myself and focused more on my negative thoughts and feelings. Yes, I'm facing my worst enemy in the mirror, it is me. I'm not getting younger anymore. And for goodness sake, I woke from the reality that it's not about the people around me. It's not them that made my life miserable, it's me.
But since everything happens for a reason, I've learned my lessons. But I won't let it happen again, I learned to appreciate myself, I learned to fight for my right, and give value in me as a person. So, I decided to kill the negativities inside of me. I tried to eliminate self-doubt within me, it's hard honestly and truthfully speaking, I still sometimes facing self-doubts. But I'm doing my best to battle it whenever I meet it. I used to complain too about the things that have happened without my consent. Which turned me into a “nagging” woman who keeps on finding the wrong in everything I see. It's very unhealthy, so I learned to fight against it. To stop and never let me complain over the things that I can't control. That the actions and the thoughts of someone else's are out of my control, that I can not dictate them nor convince them to do the things that I want to happen.
Yes, we can not please everyone and that's the truth in this society. What we are today is the result of our decisions and choices, and not of others. We have our thoughts on how to look at life and have the freedom to choose the life that we want. However, don't give too much confidence in yourself, that too much wherein you expect things to fall just the way that you want them to be placed. Or in the end, you'll end up disappointed. Admit the mistakes and the imperfections that you had. It's okay to be tough but it's not wrong to cry. Let it out, all your burdens, and heartaches inside you, cry it out. You don't need to pretend that you're okay every time, you're just making it more hard for yourself if you keep on covering that sentiment. Crying can't lessen your character as a person, it won't cause you harm. Acknowledge your weaknesses, speak for yourself, never let someone abuse your kindness and humanity.
There will be a lot of people whom we can meet, some of them will be forever part of our journey, taking a place in our hearts but some of them will just leave us some lessons to be learned. We are carved by the choices we chose and the words we decide to utter, our health depends on us, we are responsible for the food we take, it's our choice to consume whether to select the healthy from unhealthy ones, we have the freedom to live, it's just counting on us, on how we look at life at some point.
Our body, actions and outcomes depends on us, on our judgments, conclusions, verdicts, and progress. Nothing and no one's hindering us to grow, no one can stop us from reaching our goal, no one demotivates us, their words won't affect us only if we won't tolerate it. We have no worst enemy on this planet, only ourselves.
“Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.” - Jawaharlal Nehru