Marks of Maturity

“Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity.” - Samuel Ullman, poet

For you what is maturity?

I know most of us can answer this, but we don't have the same thoughts about this. Some of you may answer when a human hits maturity, it is recognized through aging physically. Others may say that maturity is being patient, gracious, taking responsibility, or supportiveness to others.

Have you seen children shouting, having temper tantrums when their parents or an adult get mad at them for their disobedience, and instead of obeying, they acted like a spoiled brat?

Well, the first thing you can note is that they aren't mature yet. That those childish acts were normal in children of their age.

While teenagers might still slam their doors or scream and throw the things they're holding when they're mad at someone, or if they didn't get what they want or someone has told them to do something which is against their will. Probably, you'll notice that they didn't roll over the floor just like most children do. That's because they've matured a little bit.

While adults just like me, or us, may respond through a quarrel or certain situation filled with anger by walking away or they're trying to distance themselves and try to talk it out.

Furthermore, when an individual is mature, he can make good decisions on his own, without being guided by a parent or another adult.

Maturity in 5 different parts

Physical Maturity. This is an age-related concept and is said to occur where the level of physical development is commensurate with a given age level.

Emotional Maturity. This is the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Instead of seeking to blame someone else for their problems or behavior,

Ethical Maturity. This is defined by the development of our morals and values, and the ability to be empathetic towards others.

Intellectual Maturity. In which the individual typically has a high level of good judgment, often combined with wisdom.

Social Maturity. It is defined as the willingness of an individual to take responsibility for developing his/her community. The ability to develop friendships, to share, and to cooperate with other people.

“Maturity comes not with age but with the acceptance of responsibility. You are only young once but immaturity can last a lifetime.”– Edwin Louis Cole

Have you seen an adult person who acts and thinks immature? I bet you have.

In this society, we may encounter aged people who are less mature than young ones. I've seen younger individuals whose more mature by the way they act and think than the older ones. Some couples with longer age gaps have shared their experiences and thoughts about who's more mature and who's quite not. Mostly they said that age is just a number, and their maturity does matter in their relationship. The only issue for them is how they can handle criticism from the people around them. And that's how their maturity is being tested.

Signs and Marks of Maturity

Honestly before, I was too childish, I'm guilty about it. But as years passed, as I aged, and have my family I can say I became more mature. But I've to tell you this, I still act like a foolish woman sometimes. There are times where my decision making is being assessed, there were unexpected situations and events I've faced and tested my whole as a person.

Let's take a look at the common signs that you may hit maturity.

You forgive more.

Forgiveness, some may find it hard to give especially when someone hurt them badly. If you forgive people who do wrong against you, you're being prepared for maturity in dealing with it. By forgiving, you are acknowledging the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. Forgiveness doesn't mean you are excusing or letting off the other person's actions. Forgiveness will break that chain that holds you on something or someone who hurts you. Yes, you will still think of what happened, but you will no longer be bound by it. And that's a good sign of adulthood, maturity.

You don't force love.

As we turn into grown-ups, we may experience a magical feeling, an extreme emotion called love. I have been in love, and still in love right now. You might too, however, love isn't something that you can force or pressure someone into feeling the same way for you. There might be some circumstances where the person you admire and love don't have the same emotions for you. Don't force love, relationships need balance. If your girlfriend and you didn't work, maybe there is something wrong, something lacking or too much. You can't force her to stay if everything is messed up. If things aren't shapely balanced and there's no give and take, one person in the relationship will end up unhappy and miserable. Mature people will do the best thing which is to let go of that person as well as the expectations that come with it and look after their own emotional and physical well-being.

You don't judge easily.

Being judged by others is hard to control. We can not govern people not to judge us. In everything that we do, there might be someone who misunderstood you or measure your acts. Most people are judgemental, however, mature people manage not to judge easily. Always give the benefit of the doubt and respecting each individual's choices. Judging others will only show you your reflection.

You respect differences.

In my previous article, I stated that showing respect is for everyone. Deserving or not, still respect that person. No matter what race, skin color, no matter what languages that person spoke, give respect. Mature people respect differences. This also comes to not judging them through their differences. You might saw some people who laugh at people with disabilities, make fun of individuals whose, not the same race as them. If only we could stop them, every human needs to be respected.

You became more open-minded.

An immature person doesn't care about other's opinions. Most of them are self-centered, unlike mature someones who have the willingness to try new things or to hear and consider new ideas. As you become mature, you become an open-minded person too. You let yourself listen to someone even in an argument. Instead, you welcome new ideas, statements, and information that you typically do not align with.

You prefer to be silent.

“Meaningful silence is always better than Meaningless words.”

In anger-filled situations, as I aforesaid above, most adults walk away from their opposers. Most mature adults prefer to be silent than to engage in a nonsense fight. As we know when and when we will talk. And staying quiet is better than talking to the nonsense.

Doze is better than clubs.

When you're still younger, you might be a loyal customer of clubs and night outs. Party here, party there's no wrong in doing this. Some may do this for enjoyment, to kill the boredom, however, more mature beings choose sleep than nightlife. As adulthood hits you with reality, you will realize the significance of sleep in your life. Not only see but your savings too. Yes, you only live once, yet your health is merely one too. If you're living independently, with enough money, you'll know your priorities and will choose your health and physical being over nightclubs.

You think before you act.

This one's a great sign of maturity in a person. Acting without thinking might end up in a mess. Or worst may result in unreasonable and reckless actions. It is very important to understand and reckon before putting it into action. That our actions are our responsibility and grown-up people are very careful before putting their actions to function.

Your happiness isn't defined by other people.

You may be happy with the material things, but they do not define what happiness means. The same goes for other people in your life. Maturity is when you find happiness in you, in your inner self. It's the little things in life that make you truly happy.

You're unshaken by overpraising or criticism.

Mature people can accept compliments or criticism without allowing it to harm them or influence them into a distorted perspective of themselves. They are open to judgments and willing to look at the brighter side of it without letting it affect his decisions and outlook.

You express humility and gratitude always.

A mature person is also an appreciative one. They see how others took part in their achievement and can honor them. They can see the bigger picture that they must be grateful for having those people around them. Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. And gratitude is the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

“Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity. You're not suddenly more happy, wealthy, or powerful, but you understand the world around you better, and you're at peace with yourself. Learning life's lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be.”

– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I know you have your definition and basis of maturity too. Maturity is similar to being an adult. We take care of our duties and try to be productive and efficient citizens. And it's an essential part of life. Our adultness is built by experience, not by age.

It is not when we start talking about great things, but rather when we begin understanding and appreciating small things. In this life, you may not be able to manipulate the situation, but you can always handle your attitude and behavior on how you deal with it, that's when maturity and being responsible happen.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀

*images from Unsplash