The year has been a tough year for the most of us. Here are 3 of the things that I have learned this year:
MY FEELINGS MATTER. SHOULD NOT INVALIDATE THEM.
- During hard times, I came to a point where I tried to invalidate my own feelings, my emotions, due to others condition. I invalidated my own feelings because I find it selfish if I will think of myself more while there are lots of people that are currently suffering, not having enough money to support their families, not being able to provide food on the table on the table of their homes. Those became the primary reason why I invalidated my own feelings. It was imprinted in my mind that there are people that are experiencing worse than my situation. I have set my feelings aside. Later on, I have realized that it piled up. I could not handle it anymore. If there were situations that I could not handle properly, I will easily become furious. I was always stubborn. I started to become toxic.
LETTING GO IS NOT EAST BUT IT IS GOOD FOR ME
- The year 2020 gave me a lot of time to think. I thought of many things. These things included friendships I had over the years with people but unfortunately did not work out. I cannot deny that I was still hung up with some of those relationships and was constantly questioning myself if it was my fault whether if I was being to much or if I had a lot of short-comings. After some time, I come to think that wether it was my fault, or not, all I can do not is to let go, in order for me to move forward, I needed to let go. When I already started to let go by taking it slow and steady, I started to feel that the weight I have been carrying has become lighter than it was before. Letting go was never easy, but the pain along was really worth it.
HELP AND LEARN TO ACCEPT HELP
- I know, I know, the joy of helping other people is satisfying but some of us refuses help when it is being shoved on our faces. It is annoying. ANNOYING. But, we need help. We do. Especially when the COVID took over the world. We were stuck inside our house. Most of us felt that even we are in our own houses, it never felt like home. I, personally, experienced separation anxiety from my friends whom I spent most of my days with before the quarantine started. I started to feel like I have no one. The noise inside my head are getting louder because other personal problems arise. Our family started to have huge amount of debts due to the pandemic. I became paranoid and started to stop actively talking to my friends on instant messaging apps. I started to distance myself. I was drowning on my own thoughts. But I woke up one day, still not feeling okay but had a thought of talking to our university Psychiatrist. It took weeks before I actually spoke to the Psychiatrist. I was worried that I may not be able to express myself well or whatever, but gladly, the Doctor said that we can talk the way I find it comfortable and at ease. After an hour of conversation, I started to feel that it is actually okay to talk to someone. It reminded me that I should not closed my doors to my friends that are reaching out to me.
THESE THINGS THAT I HAVE SHARED ARE ONLY SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE LEARNED THIS YEAR. IT HAS BEEN A TOUGH YEAR AND WE NEED TO BE TOUGHER. I KNOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE EXPERIENCING WORSE THAN WHAT I AM EXPERIENCING THAT IS WHY I'N DETERMINED TO WORK HARD AND HELP AS MUCH AS I CAN.
STAY SAFE, EVERYONE 💗
