When you thought life couldn't get any worse, it will. It sucks when there's this unexplanable feeling you have been feeling for quite some time. There's this thing you can't point a finger where it exactly lies within you. Not quite sure if it was just a thought or if it was always been there all along.

I was always this person, who had a lot of thoughts growing up. Thoughts not anyone could relate to nor understand. Been misunderstood a lot of times by my friends, by some of my family, and even the ones I could understand me. I had this feeling that I could not explain, not a single word I could find that somehow resembles it. I had a lot of issues about anger, abandonment, trust, name it. I kept in my mind that I don't have any right to feel this way because I have been provided with what I need in life. I avoided these feelings and kept it all to myself.

There were days that I found myself shed a tear, having a little break down in the middle of people I don't even know. Lost my interest on the things I was very fond of doing. I want to be okay, I really do. I am tying.

Every single day. I am trying even when it is tiring. I am trying to get up every morning even when I was being pulled by myself on the bed and just lie there and wait until the day end. I am trying to look in the mirror and smile nd remind me of the things I should be grateful for. I am trying to tell myself that I going to be okay. I am trying, so hard, to believe that I can take this is a long, hard way. I am trying to remind myself that I will be healed and these wounds I have physically and emotionally will be my reminder that I am alive and I need to be alive because I know that there are people that loves me even when I couldn't find any love for myself.

I am trying to keep going. Every single, I had to get up and be alive.

;

keep going because you matter;

Thank you for reading. It's been days since the last time I published something. I was, and still am going through something, but I will be okay. These are just days, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Please be reminded that you matter in this world. Keep going. You are loved.

xoxo, your moonchild friend. :>