Yes! I am just a dropout.
But even someone like me has her thing when it comes to writing.
And what are my beliefs? Why do I write? For whom do I write? What genre is my genre? How did I think of writing? And so on...
Life has its ways of making us do tasks.
Did I know I will be writing right now? Maybe yes, maybe no.
I have always wondered why I was so awed by people taking liberal arts. I wondered why though I was majoring in Math and that I could say I was quite good with my thing that I felt there was always something lacking.
It has been an arduous road for me not knowing who I was or who I should be. Was I always a writer? Or a mathematician?
But the mere task of writing, at times, daunted me so much that I trembled when essay tests were handed out.
How could I fear writing so much back then?
It was out of ignorance that I ranted on with my seemingly very poor self expression through writing.
It is a different story of course when we express verbally and using our vernacular. I believe I was an able individual at expressing with that modality.
But writing my opinion or answering via lengthy essays or even just short answer ones made me so unsure of myself that I only wanted to have math subjects before.
I was a fool for not looking at other ways before.
But then again, life has its ways.
I think I am finally able to connect why I always looked up to journalists before. It was because I had this desire of writing!
At first I know and imagined how I should do if ever I wanted to write. But then that has been lost. But not forever.
During the first stages of attempting to write, I sure have been lost. I questioned why suddenly those that I imagined I was doing escaped me.
Time came when I finally got the hang of it and was finally able to get the gist of things.
Still I felt so small when I read of other articles. I thought, do I have the right to call myself a writer when I can't even compare to this writer?
Then it hit me in the face that I was stumbling upon a stone that we should be careful not letting us down.
I got a grip on myself and formed the following philosophy when writing.
I have to be gentle with myself. I know myself and I believe in my capability on writing. Writing is not an instant noodle that you buy at the grocery store. We sometimes run out of gas and of resources. But our passion and our natural love for writing always bring us back to the blank canvas to fill.
I have no right to compare myself to others. How dare I? It is a disrespect to my style and innate outlook on writing. How dare I belittle myself? There is no way that we should compare two writers. Except perhaps if we have objective objectives just so body of knowledge will be improved. But writing to compare to see who's more superior or inferior is a BIG no no.
I should continue reading books.
I should go on studying.
I shouldn't tire of exploring best ways for me to write.
I should seek advise about writing but being wary and confident not to lose my identity. I believe we all have something to say so trying hard to copy others is a waste of resources. Let us listen to experts but still maintaining being ourselves.
(This is it for now for my philosophies.)
My being a dropout will not hinder me from not dropping out of this chosen passion for life.
I devote myself to writing.
Ah, I have to give my appreciation to those who gave light to my way. Those who went ahead of me on this path that I have chosen.
My wish is for me to be able to monetize my passion. This platform is one. Hoping for another way.
Someday in some way. Let us be optimistic and positive but not disregarding possible setbacks.
