Just to be listened to

I go tell my friends that I have problems. I tell them I am going through tough times. I pour my heart out to people, but then, all they do is hurt me more. Unfortunately, they aren’t aware of them hurting me.

All I wanted was for them to listen and sympathize even just for a show. If not, scold me and be angry at me. Seriously, it is one of the reasons I close up when people hurt me without even realising it.

I sometimes wanted them to realize what they haven’t realized they have done. So I give them some taste of misery by my indifference and coldness. I know this isn’t healthy at all. And it isn’t recommended to apply the tooth for a tooth and the eye for an eye principle. But I even go overboard.

Some will just say, you are too strong to be bothered by those. You are too resilient to be affected. You can get past those hurdles.

They can’t seem to lend their ears and they dismiss my concerns without even hearing me out.

Sadly, I did that to others as well. I am equally guilty of not being a shoulder to cry on. I run away or hide. I get selfish and cowardly. I gave my fair share of hurting and invalidating others.

But we should be kind to each other. Our honesty, our ears, and our sympathy might just be something that others need from us.

Hiding away from those who needed our ears is way too rude and we shouldn't be selfish.

Today is a Sunday and I allotted some time for some reflections. I can’t think of any other topic to write about than what I thought about earlier today.

We may not be able to solve money problems for others but our shoulders may make them strong enough to go on again and fight.

We may not be able to solve the marital problems of others but our ears may be more than enough to lift them up and fight on.

We may not be able to understand others totally but we can learn from them as we listen, suspending judgements on others and making time to hear them out.

Our silence may be better than invalidating others’ woes and grievances.

Even just for once, we should know when to keep silent and when to scold. But scolding might just even be better than invalidating the hearts of those who come upon us.

I learned in one seminar that we shouldn’t cut those who come to us and present their concerns. We shouldn't reject their feelings. We should accept them with an open heart and we should be gentle and kind.

Sometimes, I regret not being kinder and gentler with others. I have been selfish and I wish I didn’t have to be arrogant and airy.

Of course, it can’t be helped sometimes that we can’t accommodate our friends or relatives who want to seek comfort from us. But as long as we can, we should extend our patience and tolerance.

I do not know for you but for me, it is within my conscience always when I drive people away. To have more sympathy, try to put yourself in their situation. What would you want others to have done for you? What would you have expected from others?

If you wanted this or that, then maybe you should also try to be more considerate and generous with your heart, hands, and ears to others.

Usually, when I have family problems, I do need to unload what is in my system. Otherwise, I would feel depressed and sad. Unfortunately, I always needed some time before realising how I needed to depend on others. and as they say, no man is an island. indeed, no man is.

We have to make plans on taking on challenges that would involve other people in our lives. We have so many people to consider especially our family and friends. We also have our acquaintances, our juniors or seniors, and even random people that would appear in our lives.

I do owe a lot to others. and sometimes, when the time comes that they also needed me, I wasn't really there for them. perhaps, it is high time I will be more considerate than ever.