I should bury my anguish deep down, down at the bottom of my depth

I rooted for the belief that I am gonna transcend the first half of my century. Little did I know, I am lying in disbelief.

Lying or lying. I can't say which is which. I now come to see what I can do and cannot do.

Perhaps, I can just do what I can. And the things I will not be able to do, will be left for the morrow for the others who are still with life.

I can't believe I am now in a state of panic. Yet I feel grateful. Somehow, I feel grateful.

Let me bury my anguish deep down in my heart. I am not the giver not the taker of life.

I can trust Him and I should keep trusting.

Ironically, I am already going ahead of myself. What if I just pray for old age and travel and tours around the hermitage of the world?

Yet there is always this iota of worry for the uncertainty.

I want a place where I could cry. Where I could let out all the heaviness of my heart. Where I could pour out my soul. Just so I will be cleansed before the inevitable.

Then I wonder, perhaps this might be the best for me? I wonder, will there ever be a time that if given a stretch of my existence that I may wish I should have went sooner?

But it is our instinct to always prolong our existence. No matter how humble our lives may have been.

In the middle of all my ramblings, I cut it and lie down beside my little ones. Perhaps they will let me hold on till the day that the world decides to turn.

For now let me bury all my worries and hope for a more promising tomorrow...

And I thank you, Lord!