I hear your voice and I melt away, I hide to save the day

How many times have I tried to get you off my life? How many times have I told myself that there will never be the same page for us?

I am pathetic, beyond help. I can't get enough of this trying and trying. I hold myself up to walk away but then my head turns to you.

But do you even notice? I am a thick faced one to assume anything.

I walk away from the site where we always confidentially meet though not alone. But I hear your voice and my heart melts away...

It's like a body held back by an elastic bond. I feel like being launched to your direction but I cut the imaginary elastic bond and walk away.

Enough of illusions, I tell myself. I should harden the soft spots of this soul lest I go into the world of destruction.

I should not be tempted by temporary happiness. I can always be happy by myself. And I have Him to show me the way to true happiness in case I will be consumed by grief and wishful thinking.

I may listen to your sweet voice somewhere along the road but I will just smile and go my way.

A pursed smile on the face of this weary soul is quite enough. Quite enough.

The heart may melt but the head's still there.

And I'll use these words, I'll use this pen to win this battle somehow.

I try not to go breathe the same air as you. In an instant you might let your voice be heard and my power might be gone again.

I try not to cross paths with you. No matter how I mean to be level-headed, in an instant it might all go away.

Better safe than sorry.

In my thoughts I try not to think of your voice. You seem to be playing with me with it. And it's not amusing at all...

I use distance physically, to hide from your presence even though my presence mean nothing to you.

It feels as if you're looking right through me that I feel ashamed and embarrassed.

I use distance to hide from you, I use my roof and I use my wall to divide the area where you are and where I am. Though it might not be a big deal to you.

I'm quite bothered here but I know you may be bothered but for other things and not about me or us.

But then in my thoughts I still hear your voice and I melt away... And where do I hide? I yield, I have not saved the day. At least in this realm of coward-ness I can hide and not be spotted on.

Though you may not care anyway.

This isn't self-pity. I dare say.