Feeling empty

I didn't feel my usual self. No BIG appetite to go with my loud self. Not feeling in love and not having my poetic tendency.

I guess I am feeling empty. Am I happy? I should be but honestly I am not.

I used to believe that boring moments don't exist at all. That there are infinite things that we can do and never feel bored our entire life.

What do I want? What is holding me back from doing my usual thing?

Fearing crossing others especially those members of the family, I prefer to stay still rather than do things that might bring me in conflict with them.

I know, I know. It shouldn't be this way but I just think that now is the time to be getting in a fight with anyone.

I guess, I will just try to rest and listen to this weary body. I asked someone to massage my feet but he was just too tired to do it. He's a kid and I didn't want to insist. I told him to sleep and he said he didn't want to also.

Well, I just let the kid lay beside me until he decided to just sleep anyway.

I used to crochet and sew things around, patch things up and recycle clothes. But as I was growing older, I didn't have the same interest as my younger years.

With those, I shouldn't be feeling empty at all.

For once, let me feel this way and I will just let silly ideas carry me away. Again.