Drawing a line between you and me

We've never been destined for each other. We've never been a thing. We've never met at the same page, and we've never seen each other's heart.

It has just been my selfish desire to want you. It has been my childish ploy to desire your attention when I shouldn't be doing these things at all.

But despite you not knowing anything, I feel so battered and rejected inside. I feel so much pain that not even the ladies' laughters could drown.

Let me spell it for myself...

I am in no position desiring what is not supposed to be desired.

I am then drawing a line. Between you and me.

We are of different worlds, we are on different pages, different goals are what we have.

It is then a must for me to stop this once and for all.

Besides, I have already declared that I have had enough of this life. I am calling it a life.

Again, don't get me wrong. I am nowhere the thought of death. I am just saying that I will just live as I need to live, eating, breathing, taking a bath, cooking, etc.

I am drawing a line, as clear and visible opposite that of my fondness for you. Fondness that I can't ever openly express.

I am drawing a line, as straight as I can get it to be.

I won't recheck, I won't have thoughts of "what if he..."

Because I know very well the answer to my question...

It ain't sure but it's how I feel. There is not way validating except playing along the implicit rules of life. And love.

Except that I am already drawing a line and I am not looking back.

I like your long hair, you cut it so short. Why, I say, but it was a requirement they say.

I like your serious face, I like your voice, I'm in love with your temper.

How I wish I am not drawing a line right now. But things must be done, lest I go crazy about you, dear.

When our worlds will come to a halt at the same place and time, I wouldn't still be so sure my ploy will be reciprocated.

Hence, adios to you, mi amor.

Let this line be a beautiful marker though, in consolation for my one-way ticket for you.

Till then, stay well, my cradle.

And I will be left here with my endless dramas. And I hope this time I ain't a liar.

I lie everyday, forgetting about you, but each time it is a lie. Those were all lies!

My thoughts have never left you, my thoughts have never gone away without you.

I wish I could but I can't.

I hate the cold I am from. I hate the damp rotting dungeon. I'd like an escape and that is you. But I am drawing a line, how will I live?

Life is much more complicated even if we want it to be simple.

Why is a man's mind so hard to discipline yet it gives in at the very first sign of vulnerability?

So how then will I be able to draw? How so? How?

I can't hear an answer.

But whatever. My mind jumps to a conclusion from all these internal conflict. I WILL BE DRAWING A LINE.

No, I have already drawn it.