Backbone needed to have joy in life

Could I be a real dropout? I don't want to live up to that name. So I am taking it back, that that I just said.

I hated my choices in life. I am trying to see now what I loved so far. Choices in career, person to be with, I was never fully satisfied or happy.

Probably, the main reason would be the people playing in the game.

I hate war freaks. I hate haters. Maybe that is me. But the worst is not living happily with the man I chose to be with.

I confess, it is one real mistake. But I can't sever ties with him. Not now, not ever.

Now I wanted to look around. And let me just choose to be happy about the space I am in.

I guess, I needed also to have some backbone in order to be happy. Backbone in choosing to be happy.

If I won't stand with the life that I have, how will I fare in the future? How will I rear my children? How will I go on.

I need to impose upon myself that I am one good guy, too. Who isn't a good guy from time to time?

With the remaining senses that I have, I got to get it good. I got to make myself happy.

Less worries, less sentiments on the poor choices I made, less negativity, more bones on my back and stamina to my feet.