2020 is a happy year for many but it is the worst year of my life. If I say throw it in the bad years of my life, it will not be bad and many people will not agree with it.
First on, January
When the first month of the year was full of troubles for me, the rest of the months were to complete my whole work.In that year, I separated from my sister because she got married, because it is good to get married, but I was very attached to her and I couldn't stand her separation.
She was like an oxygen for me but when marriages took place everything would change and she have to take care of her house and now I talk to her very little because she is busy and I missed her so much this month and cried a lot because I lost my best friend(my sister).
Birthday month, February
My birthday is in early February and it was very useless because then one of our neighbors died.I didn't celebrate my birthday.
Then in college the sport week was canceled in February due to exams and I hoped that The rest of the months went well, but they got worse and worse.
Hello March
The arrival of Covid-19 in our country started in March and the loved ones of many people were separated from them and everyone had a holiday and everyone stayed at home and the people were starving.
Hey April
In April, too, Corona grew, and everyone around quarantinedthemselves so we imprisoned ourselves too with fear, and so April passed in captivity.
Worst May-June
How can I forget this month when tears would automatically flow from the name of this month. I wish this month was not so cruel.
Many good things happened in May like I found uptrennd, but these good things are not equal to this loss at all.
It is the month when my Dad left this world with my own hands.
As a medical student, I could not save my Dad.When he died, it seemed as if someone had taken my heart out.I still feel heartbroken and can't believe this that he has gone.
This grief, this pain, everyone can hear and talk, but no one knows what it means to be sad,to be hurts and to be separated, it would be very easy to say go ahead and Be strong but ask this person,how could he go on who fulfilled his father's wish but his could not see his dream?
Everyone said that the person is getting attention by making sad posts, but when I mentioned my father,words of grief and darkness automatically added in posts.You don't know until you experience it.
My father died of heart failure, not of Covid-19, and that very morning I spoke to him and spent the day sitting beside him, crying and hugging him because I knew I will never be able to touch him and I will never be able to see him again.
Do you know what grief is? Why is this year so cruel for me?
Because this year I was orphaned, my dearest thing was separated from me and my year passed in the same grief that why only me ?? Why only my father ?? And why so soon ?? Why don't this cruel year could have been ten more years apart??
As less as I write because this grief is so much that I even fill many blank pages.But this grief is such that All my life I remember him in every joy and sorrow.That's how May and June passed cried like this.
July-August
These are the months where I saw the blood relations change. To tell the truth, father is like an umbrella and when this umbrella removes out from your head,the intensity of the sun would fall clearly on you and this is exactly what happened. It so happened that my uncles made life difficult for us.
Our uncles began to feel distrustful and they started showing real faces that we did not even know them alaaas and started occupying our lands. Maybe they were waiting for Baba to leave. When our own relations change their path, why should a person complain to others? If our own relations become our own enemy, then why we have to rely on others.
September-October
I faced hatred on uptrennd and writing about it for the first time.I don't know who I hurt but I hated as much as I killed one of their family member but whyy??
Yeah all that sounds pretty crap to me,but I don't know the reason for this.
And since the colleges were open since September, I fell ill as soon as I went to college for two weeks.
And there were some serious reports and the pain I endured these days.Those days was so painful but the physical pain a person can endure by eating painkiller but the pain that is internal to a person is just blood flow and there is no painkiller for it.
And October passed in the same illness and trouble, and the tension of a study was so great that man could not think of anything else.
November
The month of exams has come to an end and I was so busy that I just study and just study.Only stresswas my partner in those days because it is very difficult to pass in medical and this month had passed in exams and tension.
December
It didn't bring any color and this month is going to be painful because the marriage of my cousins and what joys and marriages for us?
That our joys are gone from this world when my Dad left this world.I know life never stops but the tone of our loved ones and their behavior killed a human being internally, his faith just risen from the world to human beings and this is what happened to me.
Lessons Learned in 2020
The people are so cruel and behind every laugh there is pain. Every laughing person does not have to be happy but he has to laugh to hide the pain, otherwise in our side it is called attention seeking.
Because in our side a man does not understand the pain of others until That he should not go through this phase by himself.
And I learned one thing this year No one is your own whether it is a blood relationship or someone else. They will be with you but they are far away from you and no one can see anyone sad for long he gets tired.
Life is so short,death comes immediately and then many people become orphaned, poor and widowend.
So if you cannot do good to anyone, do not harm them.