Warning: Might have some trigger about sexual stuff and might be a bit explicit for some.
Side note: Please do correct me if I'm wrong and your entitled to feel and say what you want after reading this.
I was lying on my bed, scrolling through different social media apps. I just switch from Twitter to Facebook to Instagram to Messenger to Tiktok and I just continue laying down there repeating that cycle. Every once in a while, I visit my crypto apps and it makes me smile as most of the coins are in green lately. (Finally!)
As I was mindlessly watching Tiktok videos, I came across an interesting video, which I think would be a good starting point to raise a conversation. It was by a man that was asking thought-provoking questions, opvisions. His recent ones, as the time of writing, was about gender inequality.
Gender inequality, now that’s a great topic. One point that’s really bugging me is the fact that some gender uses or campaigns gender equality when it is only convenient to them, which apply to both sides - male and female.
But that conversation is for another topic, my mind was really struck by his question…
“Women talk about how hormones influence their emotions and behavior. Why are there women who shame men for being horny when testosterone is a male hormone?"
Okay, take a few breaths and read it again.
One more time...
..
.
It was hard to process for me and I never thought that this question would provoke my mind for a long time. I honestly never in my life thought about it that way.
But first, let me just clear things out. I am not a supporter of any form of sexual abuse or harassment and what I am about to write doesn’t support it. I’m just coming from a place of trying to see the other side and looking at a different lens.
Estrogen
It's clear that estrogen is closely linked with women's emotional well-being. It acts everywhere in the body, including the parts of the brain that control emotion. It is also linked to mood disruptions that occur only in women- premenstrual syndrome, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and postpartum depression.
Let’s admit it, we've all have heard of premenstrual syndrome or most commonly known as PMS. And as a woman, believe me when I tell you it’s real. Some take it to the extreme but we don’t know if that is her acting or her hormones and thinking the first one makes it condescending.
A lot of breakups happen during PMS and a lot of guys know this… or maybe not? One of the main reasons is the ever so mood-disruptor, estrogen. For some it would make them angry or irritable but for me, I turn into a cry baby. I just cry about the smallest thing and I don’t even know why!!! I wish I was making this up but I have no possible explanation for it except for my hormones.
Testosterone
Testosterone is the major sex hormone in males and plays a number of important roles, such as:
The development of the penis and testes
The deepening of the voice during puberty
The appearance of facial and pubic hair starting at puberty; later in life, it may play a role in balding
Muscle size and strength
Bone growth and strength
Sex drive (libido)
Sperm production
Now, if you look at it could there be a possibility of men having increased sex drive because of the production of testosterone during puberty? A deeper question is, is it something a man should be ashamed of or worse, ridiculed for?
If you look at it from the same side in a woman’s point of view - is this also a hormonal change that we need to learn to control. But if we don’t accept the fact that it could be a hormonal change, some men might blame themselves as to why they feel these things. I can’t speak for them, obviously.
I tried to find resources but I really can’t dive deeper as I am not familiar with what’s discussed in some papers and I don’t want to put anything here that I can’t explain for myself.
Again, I know that this could’ve repercussions which I can’t even put into words, like using this as an excuse for their sexual acts but it is never my intention.
It’s just mind boggling for me at how few people see it in this perspective.
I think I just want to raise that part of gender equality is being understanding to each other and I think putting this out here might help.
See you around!
Lead image: Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash
Estrogen controls mood. Testosterone the libido, thus resulting in a man's horniness. How is that even the same? When a woman is in that zone, they are more likely to stay away from others, or others will steer clear of them. But if a man's hormones are raging and they need to release this by going to bed with a woman, how is that inequality? Just my thoughts...