Productivity of being Unproductive

I used to believe that beating up myself is the only way to grow. As someone who used to be a goal-getter, I always thought that I am in control of my life and everything in it as long as I hustle hard. As I've reached the age of 24, I tend to compare myself to others of my age who seem to be winning in life. This would leave me feeling upset and make me wonder where I went wrong knowing that I am still unfocused and a bit lost. Is it just me or are days moving at a very fast pace? Whenever this question pops up in my mind, I freak out. It's as if the rest of the world is leaving me behind no matter how hard I try to keep up. I would start to work more than I should do, skip meals, stay up very late, and forget that weekends exist. "Sunday? Blah! Who is she?"

And there my friend is where I went wrong. I couldn't just torture myself that way and expect success. It's okay to be unproductive for a little while. I owe it to myself to let some days just get away like that. I might think the other way sometimes, but I should say that taking some days off is not a waste of time. Resting might sound like I'm shirking my responsibilities when in fact resting itself is my responsibility. I need it. And if the stock market goes up and down, who am I to think that my progress goes in a straight line? The thing is, we always forget to be in the moment because of how badly we were caught up thinking about what we want to become in the future.

Here are some of the things I do whenever I wake up and don't feel like doing anything:

Sleeping in. I intentionally sleep a lot longer than I normally do and ignore my alarm clock. This is to make up for the unearthly hours of the night I spent at work.

Enjoying every sip of my coffee. On a normal day, I would be drinking coffee needily as if my life depends on it. It's like a way of pretending that things still make sense and a way of saying to myself "I got this!". But on my lazy days, I make sure to enjoy its aroma and taste, savoring each drop as if it's not an instant coffee. It's best with brownie cupcakes, of course.

Rewatching some of my favorite Netflix series. Watching my favorite films for the second time gives me a much clearer understanding of the movies. Rewatching them makes me feel like I am stuck in something too. I don't usually watch new series, especially during my random lazy days for no apparent reason.

Treating myself to a strawberry cheese pie. I spoil myself with food I don't usually eat every day and Jollibee is obviously one of them. I don't know why my best days are always associated with this bee.

Feeding myself with random things I could think about. This photo may look planned to fit the "I only ate orange food for 24 hrs challenge", but I swear it wasn't. I honestly just grabbed everything I had at that time and later realized they kinda looked uniform in color.

Binge-watching mukbang/true crime videos. What better way to end the day than with my favorite YouTuber? Yes, I'm one of the people who are highly fascinated with true crime documentaries. It's complicated but it honestly calms me in some weird ways and helps me get better sleep. At this point, I would just watch as many videos as I can until I doze off.

And that is all for my ways of recharging. I'm going to end this by saying that if ever you come across this, bear in mind that this is not an excuse to procrastinate but a reminder to take a breather. The days we spent on nothing are the best days to reevaluate our lives and remember what drives us to strive more. Phones need breaks to be recharged and so are we. We sometimes have to lower the bar and stop being so hard on ourselves. As they always say, "Work hard but play harder".

Thank you for taking some time to read. Till next time!