These days, things haven't been going according to how I would like them to be. I think I am trying my best but they seem to be to no avail. Things are frustrating me right now. I am also getting impatient. How long do I have to wait? Why are things seem easy for others but not me? What could be so wrong?
Sometimes I even think that people who are appreciating the things I do are actually just flattering me or even lying to me just to keep my spirit. Perhaps I, in reality, sucks and cannot be pleasing to others. To be honest, one of my frustrations is my existence in this platform. I cannot even write worth reading articles. Why do I say these, well I think it's obvious.
Today, I think I need to realign things a bit if not a lot. I think I have been looking at things the wrong way. With my existence in this platform, I think I had a rather wrong motivation and a crude way of using it. I apologize for that. I had to learn the hard way. I had to learn at the expense of my pride. Honestly, I thought I had to protect that pride because it is the only thing I have. Another mistake.
All these mistakes are giving me misery. They are stealing my joy and happiness. If you have a similar situation as mine, the next things I will say will also be for you. By the way, these ideas aren't from me. I had to learn them the hard way as I have mentioned earlier. Also, what I will be saying next will be from a Christian perspective so if you think that it will not be for you, you may stop reading.
What is happiness?
My colleague who is also a philosophy professor said in one of his lectures that if money can't buy happiness, why do we feel happy when we get to travel to places, eat in fancy restaurants, buy signature clothes and gadgets or simply sit at home thinking of a good amount in our bank accounts? "Like any other emotion, happiness is temporary but it is happiness nonetheless", he explained. Indeed it is. This was my case. I was trying to chase happiness. I thought of this platform as mainly income generating to the point that I get disappointed and questioned my abilities every time I write and I don't get significant upvotes from others. What then is happiness? I thought it to be something that could be brought by money and appreciation from other people but look what this definition lead me -- loss of joy, disappointment or simply SADNESS.
What is the source of your happiness?
This is in reality the better question. There is no point asking what is happiness. It is better to ask, where do we get our happiness or what induces our happiness. Let me put this simply. Happiness based on something temporary will also be temporary but happiness built on habits will be long-lasting.
A few weeks ago, I purchased some commodities that I meant to sell to make money. After selling some, I am now having a hard time disposing the rest. I am not supposed to be worried as they are not perishable goods but I am not happy either that I cannot get back my capital yet so I can make another purchase. Maybe I am being impatient but what is the point of doing a business if not to earn, I thought. Then again, I realized that I am doing everything the wrong way. I am losing patience and I would like things to be done in the easy way. In reality, that is not how it works. A farmer sows the seeds but does not harvest the next day. He has to labor each day before harvest but when that day comes, I bet he would be able to savor the success happier because he knows that all those efforts paid off.
I would be a happier person if I looked at how I communicated with other people, told my stories and listened to theirs while selling my commodities as a source of my happiness. In fact, while chatting with them, I felt that I was trying to educate them and they were able to open themselves up. They learned from me and I too from them. They did not buy anything from me and that is sad but since we had great chats, they just might in the future. Who knows? After all, spending these days is not easy.
Other things to think about
>> Don't look for happiness. Create it!
Why not? Why do we have to find happiness elsewhere anyway when we could actually create one?
Cinderella Syndrome coined by Agatha Christie in a murder mystery novel is referred to a psychological condition in which a woman fears true independence and secretly expects a “knight in shining armor” to come along and take care of her. In her book, The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence, published in 1981, Dowling theorized that women traditionally are conditioned from birth to be dependent on others—particularly men—for their emotional and physical safety and security. This simply means that women suffering from this condition consider a man or the love of a man as the main source of happiness. Thus, when a man proves otherwise, the woman losses her happiness and craves for some from other men. Sad, right?
>>Happiness isn't a goal
In fact, it comes from our habits and habits by definition are routines of behavior that are repeated regularly and tend to occur subconsciously. This means that when we create happiness and we make it a habit, our happiness will be long lasting.
Here are some habits of happiness:
Be grateful. When we tend to be thankful for anything or anyone, there would be lesser frustrations; thus, resulting to more happiness. The book of Philippians 1:3 says, "Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."
Pray with joy. I think praying is one but praying with joy is another. We pray then we let God do the rest. Why? We have limitation. He doesn't. One may say, I don't believe in God. I only believe in myself. Okay, but when things are beyond your control, what will you do?
Expect the best. Simply, be optimistic. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I am grateful for this platform. I may have forgotten for a while my important reason in joining but now I am reminded. Readers may not find beauty, amazement or simply appreciation in what I write, I am not here to please anybody as each one has his/her own standard. Let me just be me--expressing myself and honing my skills. I pray with joy that in time, I would equal those great minds here. But if it won't happen, I am still going to learn from them. Finally, I will expect the best--maybe not to really earn precious BHC but be me expressing my thoughts.
***************************************************************
My sponsor @FrieLincs is an awesome writer. Check it out!