Why Are You Still Here, TRAUMA?

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Avatar for charmingcherry08
4 years ago

Life experiences are sometimes a lesson to us. Life experiences sometimes became memories we treasured. Life experiences are sometimes what makes us who we are right at this moment, and where we are right now. But on the other hand, some experiences caused as the trauma we are still facing now even if it happened years ago. It's like it lies beneath the deepest part of us, waiting to be triggered all over again.

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I, myself, asked my mind why am I still having nightmares with the exact situation happened to me years ago? I cannot bare the thought of being in their again. I cannot bare the thought of reliving and fighting with the same situation again. I just can't.

Being nearly raped is not a joke. Being sexually harassed will never be a joke. Yes, I was a victim of one. This experience was also my inspiration in writing "Protect Our Children".

I was sexually harassed before. I am just a 10-year old girl, but I do know what is happening back then. I can understand the differences between actions. I can feel the lines between the touch that I should be getting. I understood what was happening, so I fought back. I cannot scream for help that time. The feeling was like, an invisible hand was covering my mouth. That really happens. You can't scream even if you wanted to. You can't shout for help even if your mind is telling you to. The only reaction I did was to fight back. I used my force to fight and ran.

But, the trauma still haunts me... even these days.

The trauma is still here. I have no idea why, but it gives me chills and it hurts me too much every time I dream of that exact moment. I know that I was brave to fought back. But, what if I didn't? What if my strength wasn't enough that time? What if I could not run that time? What happened to me in their could have me killed and depressed.

The trauma I had was not a joke because it still is in my head. It hides in my head, waiting for its time to be triggered again and cause me anxiety. Why? Why does trauma still haunts me until now? Have I not moved on? No, I did. It happened almost a decade ago, but the memory of it was like it was yesterday. It still scares me. It still freaks the hell out of me. It still gives me goosebumps and all. I want to erase that memory but I know it's not necessary.

Why are you still haunting me, Trauma?

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How about you? Do you have an experience that made you traumatized? You can share it down here and we will talk about it. But, I do respect confidentiality.

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4 years ago

Comments

These things could cause depression.

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4 years ago

Yes yes. Really!

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4 years ago

I guess I'm facing same

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4 years ago

I hope you get through that, luv.

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4 years ago

I’m so sorry about this , yes is hard to forget something that will always bothers you. 🥺🥺❤️

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4 years ago

It's fine and I'm doing so okay now. It's just that, it somehow pop in my dreams and in my thoughts sometimes but I got it handled. Thank you for the concern and yes you are right that it's hard to forget since it really bothered me long ago.

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4 years ago

Oh no i'm sorry cherry. I know it's not easy, I have my fair share of history, though just almost cause i manage to escape, but still it leaves traces of it. It's frightening! Only God can heal us of those wounds, it's really hard but I hope someday you'll get through it - nightmares and all :(

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4 years ago

This is sad that some girls experienced it too. I thought I was the only one. I was nearly raped too and I managed to escape. I used my force to fight back and I ran as fast as I could. It really is frightening. It still scares me until now. The trauma stills haunts me. The nightmare is always crystal clear in my head. I hope it'll be gone soon. I hope too that we both heal from this kind of past.

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4 years ago

I get this. That's why i turned to being bisexual in the end. It was almost 7 years of being molested too

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4 years ago

Oh my God. I am really sorry that you experienced it too. May we both be healed from this dark past of us.

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4 years ago

I had therapy and meds XD I'm mostly fine now so no worries. I hope you're holding up okay though

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4 years ago

I'm just so fine now too. It's just that it still affects me sometimes. But I'm totally holding up.

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4 years ago

And the pandemic did good in my therapy too. No more harassment incidents from when i ride the train home

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4 years ago

That is good to know. I hope you do better and be fine too in the next journey of your life.

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4 years ago

Amazing article

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4 years ago

Thank you so much. I hope you get to share your thought about it too.

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4 years ago

Welcome

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4 years ago

I'll try to check some of your articles too.

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4 years ago

OK thank you 😊😊

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4 years ago

You are welcome.

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4 years ago
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4 years ago

You are a brave and strong woman with a determination but then our sub conscious mind is weak. It is the one responsible in recalling the past that traumatize you. Your mind fight back but unconsciously the sub-conscious still alive, re-live the past event in forms of dream. If only at that time you have undergone counselling with a psychiatrist , slowly you will be totally healed and your brain will learn to accept it just a part of the past. Hold on to God, for total healing, for inner peace. Pray hard for God always listen and answer. God bless.

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4 years ago

Thank you so much. I have to take these advices from you.

I am doing so fine now. I just dream and think of it sometimes but I can handle it though, thank for your concern. Gob bless you too.

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4 years ago

You are welcome, always bear in mind that you are strong that no one could topple you, it is just a dream to be conquerred . God bless.

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4 years ago

I will. Thank you so much! God bless you too and take care.

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4 years ago

I also experienced raped but its my fault because I drink to much to the point that I cant control myself nor fight for myself. The guy who used to be my boyfriend for a week took an advantage on me and I cant do anything. Until now that memories is still fresh on my mind even if its happened 11 years ago. But even if I still thinking of this I am not traumatized at all. Maybe because those bad memories were filled off of more happy memories

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

This is sad. I thought I was the only one in here who experienced being sexually harassed. It was not your fault. It will never be the victim's fault. Even if you said you're drunk, it doesn't justify that you are at fault in what that guy did to you, it was his. We idea of victim blaming should not be normalized. Even if you are drunk and you lost control, it was never an invitation for rape. Always remember that.

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4 years ago

I know, it was a lesson for me. Since it happened I didnt go on a place and do drinking without a friend that will assist me when Im drank.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

I'm glad I had a high tolerance in alcohol. I mean, with all the drinking sessions we had all through the years, I haven't experienced passing out or what they say they blacked out. And yes, it is safer when you have a friend with you who can look after you while drinking.

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4 years ago

Yeah and that incident didnt happened again.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

I'm glad it didn't.

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4 years ago