Hello everyone here at read.cash and visitors alike! I would like to share my thoughts about parenting our children at this current time that we are all in. These are solely based on my experiences and observations. Feel free to express your opinion and observations of your own in the comment section.
Nobody really is prepared to know what parents should do when they are expecting a child. Yes, there are limitless videos and tutorials available in the internet. Not including those coming from print form like books or phamplets. Including of course those highly educated and trained professionals. Don't get me wrong, all of them are good and some are even great. But, when I was starting out to be a father, these were not available to me. The first hand information that I have is how I was brought up. The second is from those around me, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law.
When you are living with your in-laws, there are bound to be struggles and misunderstandings along the way. I mean, no one is exempt from that kind of situation I think. But when it comes to parenting, you learn to listen to your elders, at least when your child is still a baby until the toddler years 😊. It's a different story when your child starts to attend school already.
From the first day until toddler years
From the day my daughter was born, me and my wife were heavily dependent on my mother-in-law in rearing our baby. As they say, mother's knows best. And where best to learn good parenting skills, none other than, from a mother who brought 12 children into the world. And also, there is my sister-in-law who have been invaluable in taking care of my child.
From when our daughter was old enough to attend school, she started attending day care at 4years old 😁. And even graduated as the best student of the batch. The decision to enroll her was ours (me and my wife) to make and we did so in good intentions, which paid of. As we also observed the curiousity of our daughter seeing her cousin attend the day care also.
From kinder to grade school
Moving to kinder and enrolling our daughter different from her cousin's school was also our decision, which made some issues with my in-laws, nothing major and was smoothen out with good open conversation 😁. Also by this time, we were already living separately from our in-laws, one of the reasons we opted for a different school.
In every passing year, me and my wife are very adamant in rearing our daughter. Although, we provide the liberties of what she likes and wants to do. This is for her to discover what works for her and for us also, to decide if we're ok with it. There are really times when we have to do trial and error, to see what's best for us, as a family.
As a parent, you must be really observant of the behavioral patterns that your child makes, you can discover what type of personality that your child is nurturing. For me, it's a great thing that my daughter is the jolly type one, expresses her laughter and smile when she's happy. And she's not that hard to please. A simple candy or a chocolate bar as "pasalubong" is good enough for her.
Also, be decisive on when to teach your child on the basics of doing house chores. It is one activity that you could share your bond with your child. Children are naturally against it, but this is the time that you can explain to them how a family works and bonds.
Most importantly, don't let your child or children see you (parents) fighting in front of them. This scene can really be traumatic for them and can be a memory that may left them scared, resentful, fear and anxiety towards relationships.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Everyone of us started out with no clear idea on how to be a parent. Even those so called experts at parenting need to have done tons of research, actual observations, interviews, use cases before they would come up with a guide that can be made as a standard. But every family is unique in its own way and that includes your children.
We all want what is best for our children, there is no denying that. But, we should be able to know when to be overly protective and delicately caring for our children. We need to be observant and collective on the decisions that we make concerning our children. After everything that we have done and decided, in the end, we all want our children to be independent.
If you have reached this part, thank you for giving your time to read my thoughts and I hope you have gained something beneficial for you.
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(#08 Article | October 09, 2021)
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It's good you have your parents and sister-in-law to help out. It's better to live separate from the in-laws but this is one time I think it can be beneficial to first time parents.
Also, yes that's really important. It's better to keep the fights "secret" because children are negatively affected by it.